Regrets, I've Had A Few

If you've been reading my blog for long, you know that I'm a pretty upbeat person most of the time. There are not that many things that I regret, but there are a few.

1. I wish blogging had been around when my kids were growing up. Maybe I'd have written more stuff down and remembered things better. All those little milestones and funny things kids say and do, pictures of them from month to month. I meant to journal all that, but I didn't. Too busy living it.

2. I wish I had been more outgoing as a kid. People think I was shy, but it was more that I was quiet and cautious. With friends I was crazy, joking around and acting goofy, but most people never saw that side of me.

3. I regret that I didn't grow up Catholic. I knew from the time I was in grade school (and went to a catechism class for a short time) that's what I wanted to be, but until I was a mom with three children, religion was not a part of my life.

4. I regret not finishing college. I went until the second semester of my junior year. Some bad things happened in my life around that time, and I dropped out of school to work full time. I always thought I'd go back and finish college, but it didn't happen.

5. I regret practicing birth control. From the time I was a teenager I knew that I wanted to have six children. Ron was an only child (he has a half brother 20 years older than him), and he was never too keen on a big family, although if he had known how much I really meant it, I know he would have agreed. I believe that I had a miscarriage a few months after we were married. Our first baby gone. After three beautiful babies, I had my one remaining tube tied (I had only one fallopian tube because of an ovarian cyst the size of an orange which was removed a month before our wedding). Why, why, why did I do that? By the time we converted I was too old to have any more babies anyway, but not having more is one of my biggest regrets.

6. I regret deleting the "stories" that I started and worked on for a few years, hoping to write a novel. One day I got discouraged and just deleted them. Why didn't I stick with it?

I don't dwell on my regrets, but today for some reason, these came to mind.