It was such a warm, pretty day yesterday (Wednesday) here in south central Texas. It's very warm here again today, but mostly cloudy. I hope we get rain! It feels like spring, not winter.Kelly came over yesterday and went with me to visit Gran and Teddy. We were worried about Teddy because he has been acting so lethargic lately. He was really glad to see Kelly. I truly think that he is depressed because he misses her and her dogs. After spending over a month with them, he felt like part of the pack, and now he's bored to death cooped up in Gran's apartment all day long.
Mom said that he hasn't been eating or drinking, but he will eat his food if you feed it to him by hand. Kelly and I took him out for a walk and he seemed fine, trotting right along. Ron and I stopped there today on the way back from the hospital, and Ted seemed about the same, but he did finally poop a little bit when I took him for a walk. Mom has not been taking him out soon enough. We got there at 3 PM and she was still in PJs and hadn't been outside. So Teddy hadn't been out either. :o(
After we left Mom's yesterday, Kelly asked if I wanted to stop by a church. I was surprised, but thought that sounded like a good idea. We went to the church near my house where we used to go, and when I knelt in the adoration chapel before the monstrance, I had the strangest reaction. I just started sobbing. It was as if Jesus in the Eucharist looked straight at me and said, "Where have you been?" I used to go to Adoration there from 11 to midnight every Monday night, and it was the most special hour of my week. I feel so adrift right now.
I had chemo this morning (Rituxan through my port). That will be the last Rituxan dose, at least for awhile. My blood tests are showing that my kidney function is not doing as well as it should, so they also gave me fluids through the IV. I know I don't drink enough water and am trying to do better. Everything else looked pretty good, though. They did the chimerism test today, to see what percentage of my cells are Johnnie's, but they didn't have the results yet when I left. I have to go back Tuesday--a little earlier than usual because Dr. O is worried about the kidney thing. I'm praying that when I go back they will tell me my new immune system is all Johnnie. :o)
I think I mentioned that Ron had shaved my head while I was in the hospital when my hair started falling out. Now I'm losing my eyelashes and the hair in my nose (and everywhere else). I have lost weight and look like a concentration camp resident. It makes me smile when someone says, "Oh, you look great!" But you know, my little grandkids don't even seem to notice. Now and then one of them will say something. Reece told me, "I miss your hair, Gramma." But then he rubbed my head, grinned and said, "But I like your bald hair." And Aubrey asked me a couple of days ago what happened to my hair. She has been very lovey lately, wanting to sit close to me and kiss me. It's sweet. I'm very blessed.
3 comments:
Hi! I've been thinking about Ted, so glad to hear he poo'd! :)
While we were out and about the other day you didn't drink anything the whole time - we need to remember to take some water with us when we are running around so you stay hydrated.
I've been adrift with my faith for about 2 years now so I know how you feel and why you cried when we went to the adoration chapel. It's been a hard 2 years for our family and I was angry with God (even though I understand it isn't His fault you got cancer). It's something that I have to work out with Him and I guess going with you to church was the first step!
Today I finished my little crochet scarf - it's blue and brown, I made it extra long so I can use it a ton of different ways. I'll try to take some pics this weekend and blog about it so you can see how it turned out. :)
Love you!
What sweet grandkids :) My oldest told me she liked my 'fuzzy' head, lol. She remembers still the time when grandma had no hair :)
I'm having a hard time right now also with my faith. Just so much has happened to us in this last year, and I think I have just gotten mad at God for letting everything happen the way it has. I've had several long talks with him. But am still going to Mass. Sometimes I have to force myself to pray. I just can't do it. So it's one day at a time. I hope it gets better for you and easier. They say that we (as cancer patients) suffer from some post traumatic stress, and I certainly do believe that. Praying for you and sending cyber hugs.
Anxious to hear about your test results. Little Teddy looks so cute. It's hard to drink enough water all the time. I've been low-carbing and not drinking enough water. My bad!
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