Knocking Everywhere

Thursday Chitchat

2012-02-02T17:16:00.001-06:00

It was such a warm, pretty day yesterday (Wednesday) here in south central Texas. It's very warm here again today, but mostly cloudy. I hope we get rain! It feels like spring, not winter.

Kelly came over yesterday and went with me to visit Gran and Teddy. We were worried about Teddy because he has been acting so lethargic lately. He was really glad to see Kelly. I truly think that he is depressed because he misses her and her dogs. After spending over a month with them, he felt like part of the pack, and now he's bored to death cooped up in Gran's apartment all day long.

Mom said that he hasn't been eating or drinking, but he will eat his food if you feed it to him by hand. Kelly and I took him out for a walk and he seemed fine, trotting right along. Ron and I stopped there today on the way back from the hospital, and Ted seemed about the same, but he did finally poop a little bit when I took him for a walk. Mom has not been taking him out soon enough. We got there at 3 PM and she was still in PJs and hadn't been outside. So Teddy hadn't been out either. :o(

After we left Mom's yesterday, Kelly asked if I wanted to stop by a church. I was surprised, but thought that sounded like a good idea. We went to the church near my house where we used to go, and when I knelt in the adoration chapel before the monstrance, I had the strangest reaction. I just started sobbing. It was as if Jesus in the Eucharist looked straight at me and said, "Where have you been?" I used to go to Adoration there from 11 to midnight every Monday night, and it was the most special hour of my week. I feel so adrift right now.

I had chemo this morning (Rituxan through my port). That will be the last Rituxan dose, at least for awhile. My blood tests are showing that my kidney function is not doing as well as it should, so they also gave me fluids through the IV. I know I don't drink enough water and am trying to do better. Everything else looked pretty good, though. They did the chimerism test today, to see what percentage of my cells are Johnnie's, but they didn't have the results yet when I left. I have to go back Tuesday--a little earlier than usual because Dr. O is worried about the kidney thing. I'm praying that when I go back they will tell me my new immune system is all Johnnie. :o)

I think I mentioned that Ron had shaved my head while I was in the hospital when my hair started falling out. Now I'm losing my eyelashes and the hair in my nose (and everywhere else). I have lost weight and look like a concentration camp resident. It makes me smile when someone says, "Oh, you look great!" But you know, my little grandkids don't even seem to notice. Now and then one of them will say something. Reece told me, "I miss your hair, Gramma." But then he rubbed my head, grinned and said, "But I like your bald hair." And Aubrey asked me a couple of days ago what happened to my hair. She has been very lovey lately, wanting to sit close to me and kiss me. It's sweet. I'm very blessed.

Rain and Recovery

2012-01-27T08:21:00.003-06:00

Photo Credit

We had really loud, long-lasting thunderstorms here Tuesday night. Even had a tornado hit one local neighborhood and damage some houses. We got several inches of rain, but are still in a drought, so I hope it will rain more.

Reece came and got into bed with us shortly after the thunder started. He was just amazed at the sound of it and kept talking about it the next day. Josh said that when he came in to get Reece up for school Wednesday morning, Aubrey and Cammie were sitting together on the couch at the end of our bed, sound asleep and leaning against one another. How cute is that? :o) We didn't hear them come in, but they must have been afraid. I wish I had known they were there.

Ron and I spent most of Thursday at the BMT clinic (bone marrow transplant). My lab results look good--everything is normal or almost normal except for that pesky red blood count. My doctor said that it sometimes takes up to six months for that to recover, and that if it's not going up in a couple more months he can give me something to stimulate the cell growth.

I got Rituxan in my port and Methotrexate in my Ommaya reservoir. Did fine with it until we left. As soon as I got into the car I started to retch and felt a bit queasy all day. They gave me benedryl and tylenol as pre-meds, and the benedryl makes me so sleepy. I was pretty much wiped out for the rest of the day. I'll have one more Rituxan treatment next week, but will continue the Methotrexate every other week for quite awhile. Those chemos are to try to prevent relapse; they specifically target cancer cells.

Dr. O said that Johnnie's cells and mine must be a nearly perfect match because I've had so little trouble. He expects I still might have some graft versus host disease at some point, but I've had few symptoms of it so far (symptoms include redness of the skin, or a rash, itchiness, diarrhea, dryness of mucous membranes). I'm at day 51 after my transplant.

In the next couple of weeks I'll have a PET scan and a test to see what percentage of my cells are from the transplant. Last time they checked it was 80%. I'm hoping it will be 100% this time. Dr. O says that I am doing "remarkably well." :o)

Thank you all for praying for me!

Monday Morning

2012-01-23T07:47:00.007-06:00

Monday morning. Ron is at work, Reece is at school. Josh just came back from taking an old high school friend home. We saw a red Camaro out in front of the house this morning, just sitting there with its brake lights on and two flat tires. When Josh took Reece to school, he backed around and looked inside and it was his old friend, passed out on the front seat. I guess he was headed home and ran into a curb or something. He lives nearby.

Josh got Reece up at 6:30, but when I went downstairs Reece was sound asleep on the couch. He looked so sweet, I hated to wake him, but he had 20 minutes to get ready for school. Josh made him some oatmeal. He loves oatmeal and wants it almost every morning.

I put a load of laundry in the washer. Dish cloths, sheets, white stuff. I had to dig for socks and underwear for Reece this morning. We need a plan around here. Laundry needs to done every. single. day. when there are four children and four adults.

The little girls just woke up. They slept in this morning. They are usually up by 7 or so. Kelly got them both little stuffed unicorns for Christmas, and they sleep with them. Camryn dropped hers on the floor and said, "Oh, I need my 'Corn!" Following each other downstairs in their pink polka dotted blanket sleepers with their wild, fly-away hair, they look exactly like Thing One and Thing Two this morning. :o)

And so the week begins.

Saturday Summary

2012-01-21T19:16:00.003-06:00

Reece (and his parents) had fun at the zoo on Thursday. The weather was perfect for the field trip. Reece said that he liked the giraffe the best, but Josh said that he didn't want to leave the crocodiles or some of the little monkeys. There were two other little boys in their group and they all wound up with little zoo toys even though the chaperones were not supposed to buy them anything. I think they were bribes.

Ron and I were at the hospital for half a day Friday. My electrolyte levels had to be checked, and though still high they were going down, so I didn't have to have anything except a magnesium pill.

We went by Mom's on the way home. She is still adjusting to being back home again. She hadn't taken Teddy out and was still in her PJs. We took Reece with us today when we went over there. He and Mom had a great time walking around with Teddy looking for special rocks. Reece wanted McDonald's, so Ron went and got all of us some lunch.

We stayed with the kids while Josh and Cyrise went grocery shopping after we got home. Reece and the girls played outside most of the time. Gina fell asleep on my lap. There is nothing so sweet as the heavy feel of a sleeping baby on your chest.

I drove to Mom's this afternoon. It's the first time I've driven since the cauda equina syndrome started. When it first began, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to brake quickly enough in an emergency because it was hard to lift my feet. Although I still have the "asleep" feeling from my butt down, my legs are strong now and I don't have any trouble lifting them or my feet. It felt so good to be driving!

Josh grilled raspberry chicken this evening and served it with steamed rice and broccoli florets. So good! He gave me a fairly big portion, and I ate almost all of it. I'm so glad he likes to cook!

It's been a nice Saturday.

Wednesday

2012-01-18T18:00:00.011-06:00

Reece is going on a field trip to the zoo tomorrow. His mom and dad are going along too, so I rescheduled my Thursday visit to the BMT clinic for today so that Ron and I can stay with the little girls tomorrow.

It was a long day at the hospital, getting a chest x-ray, lab work done, Rituxan and magnesium. My creatine number was a bit high, so I'm going to have to go back Friday so they can check it again.

We are having beautiful weather. It's cold at night, but in the 60s and 70s during the day, with lots of sunshine. I hope the kids have a gorgeous day tomorrow for their field trip. Reece is looking forward to riding the bus again. :o)

Not much going on around here right now. Winter is not my favorite time of year. I don't feel like doing anything.

Uncharted Territory

2012-01-12T18:08:00.007-06:00

I was at the hospital most of the day today. They did my lab work, then it took forever for the pharmacy to get the Rituxan ready. They finally started it about 11:30 AM, and it takes about 4 hours to be infused. My butt was sore from sitting for so long.

My doctor came in and said my labs looked great (platelets are up to 306; normal is 142-362). Johnnie's supercells are working overtime. :o) The doctor said that I am in "uncharted territory" right now. I waited for him to explain, and he said, "Well for one thing, you're alive." I seriously think that he wasn't sure that an old lady like me could make it through all this.

He plans to continue the methotrexate in my spinal fluid for at least another 20 times, and will continue the Rituxan every other week for the foreseeable future. We're hoping that will keep the mantle cell at bay. These doses of chemo are sort of maintenance doses, I guess. He said by the time we finish that regimen, Dr. B will be back from Afghanistan, and we can see what further treatment, if any, is needed. Please send up a prayer for a complete cure if that is God's will. Thank you!

I don't have to go back to the hospital until next Thursday, unless I start feeling really bad or having fever or some kind of problem. That's a relief. Now if I can just get back some energy!

It is cold here in south Texas today. It's probably going to go below freezing tonight. Thankfully it is dry, so no ice.

Sandi will be bringing Mom home this weekend. Mom has been with her since before Thanksgiving, basically. She was home for a week while Sandi attended a conference. They've been in Dallas quite a bit, so Mom has had a chance to get to know her great-grandchildren there. I imagine Mom is ready to come home to her own place, and I know she is ready to see Teddy. He probably thinks that he is part of Kelly's dog pack by now. :o) I'm so blessed to have sweet sisters who are there when I need them. I'm so grateful that Sandi was able to take Mom into her home for this time.

Have a great Friday everyone.

Happy Birthday, Jason!

2012-01-11T00:01:00.001-06:00

Wishing you the best year ever, our Jason.

Some birthday wishes for you:

A deepening of Faith.

Excellent health.

A joyful, laughter-filled home.

Financial security.

Contentment.

You are a wonderful son and I thank God for you.

I love you.

Mom

Happy Birthday, Cyrise!

2012-01-10T08:48:00.004-06:00

May God bless you on your birthday and always.

May this new year of your life be the best one ever!

May your hopes and dreams come true.

We love you.

Monday at BAMC

2012-01-10T07:22:00.005-06:00

My lab results from yesterday looked good. My platelet count is normal, white count is a bit high, hemoglobin a bit low, but nothing critical. I only had to have magnesium again. My chest x-ray (done every Monday) looks "much better." I'm still coughing but not like I was, and I haven't needed to use the oxygen at all lately.

I also got methotrexate in my Ommaya reservoir, but first the doctor drew out some spinal fluid to check for cancer cells. He called me later in the day to tell me that everything looked fine--no cancer cells in the sample. I asked him last week when we would do another CT scan, and he said we would wait a few weeks for my body to recover from all that we have been doing to it in order to have a clearer picture. He's planning to give me more Rituxan, I think starting on Thursday.

My legs are strong, I'm walking mostly without the walker. My balance is pretty good and seems to be getting better. I still have the cauda equina syndrome--tingling and numbness in my legs, feet and "saddle area." It's not really painful, just annoying.

So, things are looking good. Dr. O said that my recovery is mostly up to me now. They are doing what they can, and I need to eat, take my meds and move. I can do that. :o)

Thank you all for your continued love and prayers.

Quick Update

2012-01-09T07:26:00.003-06:00

Another Monday. I'm off to the hospital again this morning, for labs and methotrexate in my Ommaya reservoir. Fun.

I've done okay this week--just needed magnesium and potassium through the IV a few times, but no other transfusions. The mucositis is greatly improved. My mouth still feels weird, but it doesn't really hurt, and I can eat just about anything I want now. Still really, really tired.

It's rainy and chilly here this morning. I hate having to go out. Just want to snuggle under the covers and go back to sleep. I get up around 6:40 to spend time with Reece before he goes to school. If I didn't have to go to the hospital, I would go back to bed.

Better get myself dressed and ready to go. Have a good Monday.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T10:40:00.004-06:00

I've been home from the hospital for nearly a week. Jason and his family came for a few days and we had our Christmas celebration on Thursday, December 29. It was fun, even though I didn't feel very well. I love seeing my kids and grandkids all together.

Ahlyssa brought her viola and played for us. I loved that!

I'm still fighting the mucositis, but it is improving. I've been back to the hospital several times for labs, but haven't had to have any transfusions lately, just potassium and magnesium. I'll go back again on Tuesday.

I'm very tired. I'm supposed to keep walking, but just going up or down stairs or taking a shower wipes me out. I'm trying to eat more. I hope that will help to keep my energy up.

It looks like a pretty day outside--lots of sunshine. Hope you're having a lovely Monday.

Super News!

2011-12-27T19:56:00.003-06:00

I am home from the hospital! My doctor surprised me with the news this morning. He said they had been waiting for me to be able to eat before sending me home. They took me off the TPN (IV nutrition) this morning. My mouth is not completely healed, but it's slowly getting there. I can eat soup, pureed stuff, applesauce and anything liquid.

They sent me home with oxygen, which I hope is only a temporary thing. I don't use it all the time, just when I get short of breath. They also sent a bedside commode, which may come in handy in the days and weeks to come. I've had no graft vs. host disease yet, but that will be the next thing. The nurse said it could be any time from day 22 after the transplant up until day 100, and sometimes it never happens at all. My doctor said it's a good thing to have a little bit of it, though. It makes the immune system stronger. I am at day 20 after transplant now.

I'll be going into the BMT clinic every day for awhile for labs and to get transfusions, IV medications, etc. They will keep a very close eye on everything.

I have a big bag of meds I need to go through and organize so that I'm taking what I'm supposed to when I'm supposed to. It's so hard to keep track of all of that.

I'm not neutropenic right now. My white counts and platelets are good, but my red blood cells are down a bit. I'll probably get blood tomorrow.

Reece and the girls were delighted to see me, and I was happy to see them, too. Reece just held me and held me. He wasn't saying a word, just loving me. It was so sweet and precious. He wanted to see my "bald hair," and thought it looked cute. I love the way he likes to rub my head. He got a haircut, too, while I was gone, and looks adorable.

I'll keep you updated! Thank you all so much for your prayers and love.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T09:54:00.003-06:00

And may God bless us, every one.

I've had a really rough week, but my Christmas present this morning is that my white count is up, and my beautiful new stem cells are engrafting. We should see a big change over the next week, in the mucositis and everything else.

It's been a hard month, and to be very truthful, there were a couple of times when I wasn't sure I would see a new year. I'm sure those were the times your prayers and love were holding me up and getting me through.

I'm really tired of the hospital, but I'll probably be here for awhile longer. Although the recovery has begun, I have a long way to go. The staff here has been incredible; so kind and patient and helpful.

I am off to take a shower--not a bed bath--a real shower!

Mini Post

2011-12-18T20:18:00.003-06:00

Just a quick post to say that I'm still hanging in there. I'm probably at my lowest point right now, and things should start to look up soon. Feel pretty bad.

Please pray for my sweet doctor Dr. B who deployed to Afghanistan in November. I've been thinking of him so much the past couple of days. I sure miss him.

Hope your Christmas prep is going well.

I'm Here

2011-12-15T07:43:00.005-06:00

Checking in while I still feel halfway decent.

I've had a couple or rough days, especially Tuesday. That day I got 2 units of blood, some magnesium and the methotrexate. It took hours to infuse them all, and sometimes they were doing two at a time. I got the worst headache I've ever had. Oxycodone did nothing for it, so they gave me a little bit of morphine. Even that didn't work for awhile. It wasn't until I was unhooked from all the IVs that I felt better. They did a CT scan of my head to make sure there was nothing else wrong, like a bleed or something. It looked good, no problems.

The mucositis is in what I hope is full bloom. I don't want it to get worse than this. I can hardly open my mouth, can't eat anything except liquids and soft food like jello and pudding. Even those thing hurt. It is in my mouth and throat. They've given me a couple of mouthwash type meds that numb it and make it feel better briefly, but regular pain meds don't help much because it is so localized.

Yesterday I was so tired and sleepy I could barely stay awake; I'm sure from the horrible day before. But by the time Ron came in the evening after work, I felt a little better and was able to walk with him. They want to keep me up and moving.

My platelets were low today, so they gave me a platelet transfusion this morning.

My doc tells me that this should last another 4 or 5 days, then as my new cells begin to engraft, I'll slowly start to feel better. I'm at day 8 out from my transplant now.

Needless to say, I haven't been home since Monday. I miss the kids, but I feel so rotten that I'd be bad company anyway.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm still in the land of the living, and I'm hanging in there. I can get through anything if I know it won't last forever, and this won't.

Prayers always appreciated. Thank you!

Monday Chatter

2011-12-12T12:49:00.004-06:00

That's Kelly and Reece doing some Christmas decorating. Kelly came over yesterday (Sunday) to finish decorating the tree. It looks pretty. The little girls "helped." :o)

We had a good weekend. I came home from the hospital on passes both days, and I'm home again today. It's been such a blessing to be able to leave the hospital every day; it keeps my spirits up. I'm fortunate that we live pretty close, so there's no problem going back and forth.

I'm still doing very well, but I have the beginnings of mucositis in my mouth. I've been gargling and swishing with saline solution, and if it gets bad they can give me pain medications. So far it hasn't interfered with eating or drinking, but my tongue feels swollen.

It's cold and rainy today. I'm happy for the rain, but I don't like the cold. Lately I have been cold when everyone around me is hot.

We are trying to find a Leap Pad for Reece for Christmas, and no one seems to have them (except the places that want $200 or more for them). He loves playing games on my Kindle. I downloaded some free kids books for him, and a bubble game Johnnie likes. He's used it more than I have. :o)

Hope you're all having a good Monday. I'm going to take a nap.

Another New Birthday

2011-12-09T10:08:00.002-06:00

The stem cell transplant went great. It happened at 9:45 Wednesday morning, and took less than half an hour for me to get over 4 million of Johnnie's stem cells. They collected over 10 million cells from her. The ones they took on Monday are frozen and will be saved for me in case I need them in the future. So, my new birthday is December 7, Pearl Harbor Day. :o)

I've had so few problems that they've let me go home on a pass the last three days. I know this will not last indefinitely, so I'm enjoying it as much as possible. I have to go back at night, but I can spend the afternoons and evenings with my family. I get to go again today. Kelly and Johnnie have been with us each day I've been home, but today Johnnie is flying home. I'm going to miss her so much!

Kelly is starting to decorate my house for Christmas. They got the tree up, but half the lights didn't come on, so she went to buy some lights to fill in the dark spots. She put garland and lights on the stairs, and will finish the tree this weekend. The kids were having fun playing with the nativity sets when I got home yesterday.

I haven't done one bit of Christmas shopping. I'll do it online this year.

My sister Sandi will be here this weekend to take Mom back home with her for awhile longer, until I recover. It helps so much to know that Mom is happy and cared for while I'm dealing with all this.

I want to thank those of you who are praying for me. I'm certain it is because of all your prayers that I am doing so well. Please continue to pray--they keep telling me the worst is yet to come. They don't know the power of my prayer army, though. :o) Thank you, thank you!

Out On A Pass

2011-12-06T12:08:00.004-06:00

I'm home! I got to come home on a day pass, but have to go back to the hospital at 10 PM tonight. I was a little worried they wouldn't let me out because my white count was low, but I'm not quite neutropenic yet, so they let me go. They warned me not to eat salad (which I've been craving), or be around anyone coughing.

Reece is still at school. He will be surprised to find me here when he gets home. The little girls were happy and excited to see me. I'll read to them and put them down for their naps after they finish lunch. (They went to bed after a story and some songs).

The pictures in this post are random ones from my photo album. The first one is a vintage tablecloth that belongs to my mom. I remember it from my childhood. We always used it for holiday dinners. Mom found it a couple of years ago in a box at her place, so we got it out to use for Thanksgiving. To see it sure brings back lots of memories.

The second one is Reece's Teddy Rabbit having a tea party. Reece calls him that because he used to watch Frances, the little badger, and she had a Teddy Rabbit.

Cyrise took the picture of Gina with Josh's phone and sent it to me. I love her little shirt that says "Grandma's Sweetie." She certainly is that.

Off to take a shower in my very own bathroom rather than using the one at the hospital.

PS: Johnnie and Ron are finished at Wilford Hall. They were able to collect twice as many stem cells as needed yesterday, and got even more today. They are going to call her to let her know the count. She sounded like she was feeling good. I know she is happy to be finished with all this and anxious to get home to her family on Friday. I'm sure going to miss her, though.

Monday Chatter

2011-12-05T20:23:00.003-06:00

I had the last chemo treatment today. Tomorrow (Tuesday) is a "rest day;" no chemo or anything else going on. So I will probably get to go home on a pass for the day. They won't let me stay overnight, though.

Johnnie had her stem cells harvested this morning, and she did very well. She felt achy and sore from sitting in one place for so long, she said. She will have one more day of neupogen shots, they will harvest her cells again tomorrow, and then we believe she will be finished. They got lots of beautiful, good cells today. There is a slight possibility that they would need to harvest one more day, but after tomorrow we will probably have more than enough stem cells.

I will receive the stem cells they harvest tomorrow on Wednesday, fresh not frozen. :o) They've been giving me all kind of meds to make things work--anti-rejection medication, anti-nausea, anti-inflammatories, anti-biotics--all kinds of antis. I'm just eager to get on with all of it.

I finished reading The Help on my Kindle. It was a good book. I finished knitting one little girl sweater, but still have to block it and sew it together. I've started on the other one, and love the purple color of it.

Appetite is still pretty good. Nausea is under control. I felt a little weak and tired a few times, but guess that is not unexpected. No mouth or throat sores, no diarrhea, no headaches. Yet.

Someone from physical therapy came up on Sunday. She gave me an exam and some exercises to do and told me to continue walking as much as possible to keep my muscles strong.

We talked with the kids on Skype yesterday and today for awhile, but I find it frustrating. The picture kept freezing, I think because Aubrey was moving the mouse around, and it's hard to hear what they are saying because they talk at the same time or there is too much background noise. It also makes me miss holding Reece close, and I miss his smell.

Ron brought me dinner from home last night. Cyrise made Willie Strange's Good Soup and rice and it was so delicious. I get tired of hospital food really fast. Tonight Ron went and got Popeye's chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and a biscuit for me. It tasted so good. I had hospital food for breakfast and lunch.

Sandi went home yesterday. She will be back at the end of the week to get Gran again. She has out of town meetings this week, so Gran is staying here at her own apartment. They said Gran was delighted to see Teddy. I hope to see them tomorrow.

Things are moving along. I hope I won't still be in here for Christmas, but it could be several weeks before I recover enough from the transplant to go home. Prayers are still appreciated. Thank you!

Skype and Wonderful Lives

2011-12-03T21:37:00.007-06:00

Josh picked up a camera for his computer tonight, so that we can use Skype to talk to each other. What a great invention! Tonight Kelly, Johnnie, Sandi and Ron were all here at the hospital, and we were able to get the Skype hooked up and talk to the kids at home. They were so cute. They just took it all for granted; it wasn't anything unusual to them. They kept wanting to see Papa, not me. :o)

We've been using a lot of "new technology." Ron downloaded the book The Help onto my Kindle Fire. I'm enjoying it very much. I've downloaded a couple of older books, and someone put Angry Birds on it.

All that new technology, and what am I doing? Watching It's A Wonderful Life from 1946 on TV. :o)

Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? Clarence Oddbody

Friday Update

2011-12-02T18:29:00.005-06:00

The neatest thing happened this afternoon. One of the volunteers stopped in and asked if I would like to receive Communion. I told her I'd like to see a priest. So one stopped by earlier today. He was so wonderful!

I confessed, he absolved me, I received the anointing of the sick and the Eucharist. Absolutely wonderful!

He's the parish priest at one of our famous San Antonio Mission churches. He invited me to come for a tour when I'm better, and I am definitely going to take him up on it.

Things are going okay. I finished the chemo I was taking for two days, twice a day. The other one continues for the next three days, but it's just once a day and only takes 30 minutes. They've been urging me to walk as much as possible, and to use the spirometer. My doctor has a physical therapist coming up for a consult. They are trying to keep me strong.

Johnnie started her neupogen shots today, and has had no ill effects from them so far. They can cause bone pain--feels like growing pains only worse. I hope she won't get any. Sometimes people don't. She has pain meds, just in case.

She and Ron have been in and out today. They've spent so much time with me, and I love that, but I don't want them to wear themselves out, either. They did go out to lunch and to do some shopping. Johnnie brought me 2 pair of those lotion socks from Bath and Body Works, and little bottle of lotion and shower gel. She's so thoughtful.

My sister Sandi and Mom are coming tomorrow. My sister has a conference in Austin mid-week, and she will leave Mom at her apartment here for the week. Mom is going to be happy to see Teddy, I imagine. :o) And to be at home again. She's been gone since the weekend before Thanksgiving.

I am missing Reece and the little girls so much. They aren't allowed up here, so I won't be seeing them for awhile. I'm not supposed to be exposed to germs, anyway, and they've all had runny noses, so I guess there's a silver lining to that gray cloud. My immune system is only going to get worse, not better, though, at least for awhile.

It's cold and drizzling outside, and supposed to get really cold by Sunday. I hope we don't get freezing temps with this drizzle, or we'll be a sheet of ice.

In spite of the chemo, feeling really tired (I didn't get much sleep last night), missing the kids, and being cold, I'm in good spirits. Thank you all for praying for me. I'm sure the prayers are what keep me in good spirits.

Prayer for Healing

2011-12-02T07:34:00.004-06:00

This prayer was in my email this morning, from Johnnie. It's perfect for this time in our lives.

For Healing

Lord, You invite all who are burdened to come to You.

Allow your healing hand to heal me.

Touch my soul with Your compassion for others.

Touch my heart with Your courage and infinite love for all.

Touch my mind with Your wisdom, that my mouth may always proclaim Your praise.

Teach me to reach out to You in my need,

and help me to lead others to You by my example.

Most loving Heart of Jesus, bring me health in body and spirit

that I may serve You with all my strength.

Touch gently this life which You have created, now and forever.

Amen.

Bunny Ears

2011-12-01T19:35:00.004-06:00

Can you tell we're sisters? :o)

That's Johnnie on the left, me on the right. We are covered with our prayer blankets. And she is making bunny ears on me, 'cause that's just how she is. :o)

I've been getting the chemo, and so far it's going well. I'll get another dose tonight, then one dose every day for the next four days.

Johnnie will start the neupogen shots tomorrow and continue them through Monday. They will collect her stem cells on Monday and Tuesday, and give me fresh ones on Wednesday.

Continued prayers are much appreciated!

Hospital Blues

2011-11-30T14:01:00.006-06:00

I'm in the hospital now, just sitting around waiting for the pharmacy to send up the chemo. They have given me the pre-meds, so it shouldn't be too long.

We came at 7 AM to have the PICC line put in. They will use that to give me Johnnie's cells next week. Then I came up to the ward and they had a room all ready for me, and started the paperwork. Ron and I went down to Audiology at 9:30 AM, where I had a hearing test to establish a baseline. That way they can tell afterwards if any of the chemo or anything damages my hearing. Then we came back up to my room, and I've just been waiting ever since.

They have taken my vital signs a couple of times, checked my blood sugar, and asked a million questions they already have the answers to in the computer. I've seen my doctor, and one of the other docs on the team.

We had to make arrangements for Kelly, our daughter, to get on post. When she took Johnnie back yesterday they wouldn't let Kel on post because Ron wasn't with her, so Johnnie had to walk from the gate to her quarters, in the dark, carrying shopping bags. Kelly was so upset, and I'm sure Johnnie wondered what she has gotten herself into. So today Ron arranged for the pass, and there should be no more problems like that. We just didn't think about them refusing Kelly entrance to drop Johnnie off, but we should have known.

Ron and Johnnie will be here later this afternoon. Johnnie said she slept in this morning, and did some laundry. Sounds like she is feeling a little more at home.

Ta for now.

PS: Getting the Fludarabine now (3:15 PM).

Back To The Hospital

2011-11-29T21:06:00.007-06:00

We had our family meeting with the doctor and staff this afternoon. I signed all the consent forms, heard all the scary stuff again, and I'm going into the hospital tomorrow to begin the strong chemo that will wipe out my immune system. I didn't expect to go in so soon, and it was a shock. I wanted to be able to be with Johnnie while she did the neupogen shots and had her stem cells collected, but that won't be possible now.

I'll get Busulfan twice a day for the first two days, and Fludaribine for five or six days (I'm confused on that). Both start tomorrow. Then I'll have a day with no chemo ( a rest day), and then on Wednesday, Dec. 7, they will do the transplant. (Another new birthday).

Johnnie will start the neupogen shots this Friday, they will collect cells from her on Monday and Tuesday, and give the fresh cells they collect on Tuesday to me on Wednesday. Anyway, that's the plan.

Please pray for us. Pray that the cell collection goes without problems for Johnnie, that my body will accept her cells and not reject them, and that her cells will not see as my body as a foreign object and attack me. We want her "super cells" to just find their place in my bone marrow and start building me a whole new immune system. My doctor said that if everything works as it should I will be a chimera, with my body and Johnnie's immune system. So strange and wonderful what they can do!

The chemo will cause the usual side effects, but things probably won't be bad until a week or so after the transplant. Not looking forward to those two or three weeks.

He warned me again that my age and history of radiation and chemo puts me at a higher risk for failure, but I am putting all my trust in God. I have so much to live for and I am determined to fight with all my might, so I'm asking for a miracle. I want to be cured of this cancer and see my grandchildren grow up.

Thank you for your prayers. I'll offer up my sufferings for all of you, family and friends.

(PS: I'll take my computer with me; don't know how much I'll be able to post).

The Process Begins

2011-11-28T22:17:00.001-06:00

We had a long, busy day. Ron and I picked up Johnnie, then we stopped for breakfast. Because they were going to be taking a lot of blood from Johnnie, the nurses wanted her to have a good breakfast. We went to the bone marrow transplant unit where they took our vital signs and drew blood from both of us. They only took a few vials of blood from me, but they probably took 15 or so from Johnnie.

Then we hopped the shuttle to Wilford Hall and the apheresis unit there. They had all kinds of paperwork for Johnnie to complete, they took a look at her veins to make sure they are good enough to get the cells, they explained the process to her, and took even more blood. Poor Johnnie--by the time it was all done they had taken more than 20 vials of blood.

Back at BAMC, she had an Xray and an EKG and we were finally ready to leave around 1 PM. We went to lunch at Cheddars, then came by the house so that Johnnie could see Josh, Cyrise and the kids. At one point the three little girls, Aubrey, Camryn and Gina were all sitting in a semi-circle on the floor in front of Johnnie, just staring at her. :o) I love how they are so comfortable with my sisters almost immediately.

We were all tired, so Ron and I took Johnnie back to her place around 3:30 so that she could rest. I hope she sleeps well tonight. I took a little nap when we got back home. I worked with Reece for awhile on his counting to 100 and sight words. I put Aubrey, Cammie and Reece to bed at 8, after reading them a couple of stories and singing Little Bunny Foo-Foo three times. They all went to sleep so quickly tonight.

Tomorrow we have a family conference with my doctor and a bunch of other people. Kelly, Josh and Johnnie will go with us (me and Ron) to the meeting. I think that's the only thing going on tomorrow. Things are going so quickly now that I'm losing track of things.

Johnnie Is Here!

2011-11-27T21:26:00.007-06:00

My wonderful, beautiful bone marrow donor, my sister Johnnie, is here! We picked her up at the airport this afternoon, and got her settled in her temporary quarters, which are very nice. Reece was with us and was excited and happy to see "Aunt Johnnie's house." We also met Kelly, and she went with us, too.

Johnnie and her family spent Thanksgiving with my niece and her family in Dallas. Sandi and Mom joined them there, so they had quite a crowd, too. Johnnie's flight from Dallas to here was only about an hour.

She was tired, and getting over some kind of stomach bug that she got in Dallas, so we visited for awhile, went to pick up a few things she needed, and left her there to rest and relax. Ron and I will pick her up early tomorrow morning. We have an appointment to have blood typing done at 8:30 AM and she's supposed to have a good breakfast first.

The weather has turned cold for our area; we may get to freezing in the wee hours! Johnnie thought she was coming to nice warm Texas, but she brought cold weather with her. She didn't bring a jacket, so I'll have to remember to take one for her tomorrow morning. I'm so excited to have her here with us!

Gentleman Ted

2011-11-26T14:21:00.004-06:00

Kelly has taken Gran's little dog, Teddy, to the vet for all his shots and a checkup, and she had him groomed. He looks cuter and I'm sure he smells better. :o) Kelly said he looks like a little gentleman with his hair combed and his ribbon 'round his neck.

He likes to be with Kelly and her dogs. He thinks he is just as big as any of them, and tries hard to play with them the way they play. Kelly worries that they will hurt him, but I don't think he would keep going back for more if he didn't enjoy the roughhousing. He is crazy about Gran, but I think he likes his vacations at Kelly's. He doesn't get treated like a mini person there, but I don't think he minds. He likes being a dog.

My sister Johnnie will arrive tomorrow to begin the bone marrow donation process. I'm excited and a little bit scared. I can't wait to see Johnnie, though!

Friday Again Already

2011-11-25T22:53:00.006-06:00

Lily in her Minnie Mouse ears with Santa hat. She looks so much like her mama.

That was a whirlwind visit! Our son Jason and his family left tonight. I'm so glad they decided to come for Thanksgiving. It was fun and I loved having them all here.

Last week my doctor asked what we were planning for Thanksgiving, and laughed when I told him that we would have three kids and their spouses, eight grandchildren and six dogs. He was having company, too, but I'm sure his day was much calmer than ours. It was crazy and hectic, but I wouldn't change a thing. Some day maybe I'll be organized and have everything ready well in advance, but that hasn't happened yet. But no one cares, and everyone helps, so it all works out.

No Black Friday shopping for me; I can't handle the crowds. Instead we stayed home, relaxed and ate leftovers. Some of the kids slept half the day, others played video games, read books, or played outside. Everyone came in and out of the kitchen and ate whatever they could find in the fridge whenever they were hungry. Gravy and stuffing are even better the second day.

Tonight Ahlyssa played my violin for us. She is learning to play the viola, but was able to play several pieces on my violin, even without her music. And she only started learning this fall! I am amazed at how well she is doing, and so proud of her. She has inherited her daddy's musical gift.

Reece is going to miss his cousins and Uncle Jason and Aunt Kis. He loves all of them so much. The little girls will miss them, too, especially Lily. She is such a little mommy. She played with them and took care of them the whole time she was here, even baby Gina. When I see them all together I really wish we all lived closer together.

And now I think I'll go have a piece of pumpkin pie and ice cream before I go to sleep. :o) (I wish we still had some of Kelly's banana cream pie. She used her grandmother's recipe, and it was so delicious)!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-23T19:54:00.004-06:00

May you all have a blessed day with family and friends, food and football!

Our son and his family from Spring have arrived, and the house is filled with wonderful, precious people.

Ron gave me a Kindle for my birthday. I haven't figured it out yet (no time), but I'm excited to be able to download books and all kinds of things. All that's on there right now is Angry Birds for Reece. :o)

Jason gave me a case for my Kindle, Mom gave me an angel in a snow globe. The music is Hark the Herald Angels Sing, and it's so pretty. My sister Sandi gave me girly lavender PJs, my niece gave me a movie, Ponyo, to share with my grandkids. It's her little boy's favorite movie, and she thought we would love it, too. Reece and I haven't had a chance to watch it yet, but the two little girls have watched it 3 or 4 times already. Yes, they love it! :o)

I got to have chemo for my birthday. Oh boy, just what I've always wanted. It went well, but I was zonked out all afternoon. Slept like a log.

I still haven't made my pumpkin pie or cranberry orange relish. I'd better get a move on!

I am very thankful for all of you who visit me here, who cheer me on and pray for me. Thank you so much! You are holding me up.

Reece and The Angry Birds

2011-11-20T12:42:00.009-06:00

Reece has discovered Angry Birds. He has never played video games, but a little boy at school told him about Angry Birds several weeks ago, and he was very interested in them. Then his daddy put the game on my phone, so we were up late last night playing it. I can see how it can be very addictive, but he has limited access to my phone, so I'm not too worried. I really, really dislike video games, usually. I think they are time wasters and keep you from real life, so I've always been glad that Reece wasn't interested in them.

Last night he was sleeping with us and started laughing in his sleep. He laughed and laughed and woke me up. I asked him this morning what he was laughing about, but he didn't remember it at all. I love that he is such a happy little boy that he even laughs in his sleep. :o) He does it quite a bit.

Sandi and Gran will be here later. They will stop here on their way to Bryan and drop off Teddy, who will stay with Kelly while Gran is away. Kelly is looking forward to having Teddy join her dog pack again, and has plans to take him to the vet and to be groomed. She's such a treasure! I'm sure glad she loves dogs.

May you all have a peaceful and blessed Sunday.

Photo Credit

Saturday Summary

2011-11-19T17:42:00.000-06:00

Friday I had the bone marrow biopsy and Methotrexate put into my Ommaya reservoir. My new doctor had me laughing so hard. He is funny.

We stopped by Mom's on the way home. She was doing well. I told her that Sandi would be here this weekend, and that they were going to Dallas for Thanksgiving next week. She is excited about that. She will get to see two of her youngest great-grandchildren for the first time, as well as family members she doesn't get to see very often.

Sandi arrived safe and sound and spent a couple of hours here with us before going on to Mom's. She will take Mom out for dinner and to get her hair cut this afternoon and evening. The kids always love to see her, and of course, so do we.

We will have Thanksgiving here, as always. We just found out a couple of days ago that our oldest son and his family will be here with us. We thought they were going to stay at home for Thanksgiving and come to us for Christmas, but now they are planning to come here for both. Yay! I'm glad they will be here before I go through the next chemo and the transplant, while I'm still feeling pretty good. Not sure how well I will feel at Christmas time, but I'm glad they will be here, anyway.

Reece is out of school all next week for the holiday. He enjoyed the kinder feast they had on Friday. He brought home a little Indian vest made of a brown paper bag, and a pilgrim hat made of construction paper. He said the cookies he took to the feast were "real good." They had all kinds of good food. The feast took place during their lunch time.

Reece is happy that he will have no school next week, and he is beyond excited that his cousins and Uncle Jason and Aunt Kismette are coming. He keeps asking us, "Is everybody coming?" and when we tell him "yes, they are coming next week," he gets upset that they are not coming today. He is absolutely crazy about his cousins.

Are you having a good weekend? I hope so!

Miraculous Medal Novena

2011-11-19T00:00:00.003-06:00

Please join me in praying the novena starting today, November 19, and ending on the Feast of Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal, November 27.

Novena to Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal.

O Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of Our Lord Jesus and our Mother,

penetrated with the most lively confidence in thy all-powerful and never-failing intercession,

manifested so often through the Miraculous Medal,

we thy loving and trustful children implore Thee to obtain for us the graces and favors we ask during this Novena,

if they be beneficial to our immortal souls, and the souls for whom we pray.

[Here privately form your petitions.]

Thou knowest, O Mary, how often our souls have been the sanctuaries of thy Son, Who hates iniquity.

Obtain for us then a deep hatred of sin and that purity of heart which will attach us to God alone

so that our every thought, word and deed may tend to His greater glory.

Obtain for us also a spirit of prayer and self-denial that we may recover by penance

what we have lost by sin and at length attain to that blessed abode where thou art the Queen of Angels and of men.

Amen.

Feels Like Fall

2011-11-17T13:45:00.005-06:00

Brrr, it's chilly here today. But it is sunny and pretty, so no complaints.

Ron and I just got home from the hospital. I was supposed to have Rituxan in my port and Methotrexate in my Ommaya, but I have to go back tomorrow for yet another darn bone marrow biopsy, so my doctor decided to wait and do the Methotrexate then. I think he was behind and trying to get caught up; he was running around like a crazy man. I don't mind waiting. The bone marrow biopsy was a surprise I didn't expect. Seems like I just had one, but it was in late September, so they want another. They hurt.

Did okay getting the Rituxan; it just takes so long. They do my labs first, wait an hour for them to come back, then order the chemo from the pharmacy, then put it in through the IV so slowly. They increase it every 30 minutes, but it still seems slow to me. Blood counts were low, but acceptable.

I was famished when we got home. I ate some cottage cheese with canned freestone peaches and some saltines and a glass of peach tea for lunch. I'm still hungry, though. Oreos, here I come.

I completed the other side of the sweater front and am now working on the sleeves. I took my knitting with me today, but I'm too easily side-tracked. I was knitting along, looked down at the right side, and there were 5 or 6 little purl bumps right in the middle of my smooth knit side. Arrrgh! Now I'll have to rip it back a few rows to fix things.

Reece will be home from school soon. I hope he had a good day. He did not want to go this morning. Tomorrow they are having a "kinder feast," and he and his parents are going to get cupcakes or cookies to take for dessert. When my kids were little I made dozens upon dozens of cookies and cupcakes for them to take to school, but now they only allow store bought treats. I guess they are afraid someone will put something toxic in the cupcakes. :o(

Happy Weekend!

Weekend Roundup

2011-11-13T15:25:00.008-06:00

More laundry and kitchen cleaning yesterday, and I finished the left front of one of the girl's sweaters. I have the back and one front side finished now, still have the right front to do, then the two sleeves. Because the sweaters are small, the knitting goes pretty fast.

I also made dinner last night, which was kind of fun because I haven't cooked in awhile. Ron got some bowtie pasta, alfredo sauce and breaded chicken tenders, so it was pretty easy. I just boiled water for the pasta, heated up the sauce, baked the chicken in the oven and heated up some frozen veggies. Not really "homemade," but it tasted pretty good and everyone liked it. Then the kids and I baked chocolate chip cookies (Nestle's ready-to-bake from the refrigerator section) for dessert. They were all gone when I went downstairs this morning. :o)

Josh and Cyrise took Reece, Aubrey and Camryn to the last day of Wurstfest in New Braunfels today. They had fun, but it was hot and the kids were so tired when they got home. They had food on a stick and fried pickles, rode the merry-go-round and ferris wheel.

Gina stayed here with me and Papa. Kelly came over and we went out for lunch while Papa watched Gina. We just went to Chipotle, close by, and then to Bath and Body Works, so we were not gone too long. Gina loved seeing her Aunt Kelly.

I got some antibacterial handsoaps, some wallflowers and a bottle of lotion at B&B Works. I like the Pink Sugarplum scent that they only have at Christmas time, so I got that in lotion and one of the handsoaps. I always wind up getting more than I had planned when I go there. I got Kitchen Lemon, Fresh Lavender and Winter Cranberry handsoaps (4 for $10). And Pink Sugarplum, Winter Cranberry and Frosted Cranberry wallflowers ($6 for the 2 pack of refills). That should last me through the holiday season. :o)

My dashboard is showing that it is 85* here. Feels like summer outside. We have the AC on one day, and the heat the next.

Life seems so normal right now, other than the cauda equina syndrome causing my legs to be numb and tingly so that walking is difficult. I'm still not using the walker at home, but use it when I go out. My calves have felt stiff and sore sometimes lately, but I walk anyway, and they loosen up after a bit. I'm not looking forward to the weeks ahead--the strong chemo and the transplant.

Fab Friday!

2011-11-11T19:06:00.000-06:00

We just finished dinner and I am so content. Josh grilled thick, tender filet mignon for all of us. Oh my goodness, they were delicious. I'm glad I'm not a vegetarian.

Cyrise made roasted potatoes with rosemary and we also had broccoli florets. Yummy!

It's been a busy day. The kids went shopping and Ron and I stayed with Reece and the girls. They played outside for quite awhile, after their naps. The girls got new tops, jeans and jackets and look so cute in them. The weather was cool enough that I wore a jacket myself. It was fun to sit outside and watch them play.

Josh and Cyrise bought Reece a new mattress and box springs, but it won't be delivered until the 22nd.

Papa took Reece with him to visit Gran. They said she is doing fine. They took her the leftover Chinese we had last night and she enjoyed that.

I cleaned up the kitchen this morning, and have been doing some laundry today--sheets and towels, mostly. I get tired pretty quickly, but it makes me feel so much better to do something. Now I need to get our mattress pad and sheets back on the bed and fold towels. Have a great weekend!

She Had A Happy Birthday

2011-11-08T21:23:00.004-06:00

Love that grin and the smiley eyes.

Her family gathered around her. She liked her cake, especially the frosting.

One of her birthday gifts. The other little girls are very interested in the purple doggie, too. But it can be programmed to say Gina's name and favorite things.

Happy Birthday, Gina!

2011-11-08T16:42:00.008-06:00

Gina is one year old today! She is the sweetest baby, almost always happy and smiling. Love you, baby girl!

Not feeling my best the past couple of days, but nothing serious. My blood sugar is high, and I admit I haven't been watching it like I should. My diabetes has taken a back seat to the cancer. I will start watching it more closely.

I went in for the echocardiogram today. Don't have any results yet, but the procedure was quick and easy.

Tomorrow I'll see a dentist at Wilford Hall to make sure I don't have any kind of infection in my mouth. I know I have a couple of broken molars, but they've been broken for over a year and never caused any problem, so I don't expect any trouble from them. I hope the dentist will just put fillings in them. He said he could put a filling in anything when I saw him last year. :o)

I finally finished the little blanket I was knitting for Gina, and have started on one of the cardigans for the little girls. I hope they turn out cute. I like the yarn. Kelly and I went to one of the local yarn shops a few weeks ago, and I got a sweet raspberry colored yarn for one sweater, and a pretty lavender for the other one. Girly colors. :o) I'm almost finished with the raspberry back. I think the two front pieces and the sleeves will go really fast, but I'm worried about sewing it all together so it looks nice.

Ron and I were hungry after I finished at the hospital, so we stopped and had Mexican food on the way home. He had cheese enchiladas and I had chicken flautas--pretty good. As usual, my eyes were bigger than my stomach, though, and I brought most of it home.

We were going to shop for Gina's birthday, but I started to get a migraine (those darn sparkles), so we came home. Cyrise and I had talked about what I wanted to get for Gina, so she and Josh went shopping for me. We'll have a little celebration later this evening. I took some ibuprofen as soon as I got home, and lay down for a little while and I feel okay now.

The Plan

2011-11-03T17:03:00.010-05:00

We met with my new doctor today. He talked with us (me and Ron) for quite awhile about my treatment. He said that there are two options. The first one is to continue as we have been, using the Rituxan and Methotrexate to keep the cancer at bay. But he said that that usually only works for a few months, and then the cancer will come back. The prognosis would be only months to live.

The second option is to do the bone marrow (also known as stem cell) transplant. He gave us all the scary reasons why I might not want to do it. He said that I'm older than most of their allogeneic transplant patients, and I have the disadvantage of having had a lot of chemo and other treatments already. He explained how sick I will get, how they will kill off all my cells, all the risks and awful things that can and will happen. It will be worse than the autologous transplant I had last year, where my own cells were used. I can't even imagine being sicker than I was then; it was awful. My body may try to reject my sister's cells. I'll have no immune system for several weeks and any tiny infection could kill me. After he told us all of that, I told him that I will have the transplant. He said, "Even after all that I've told you." And I said, "Yes." He seemed relieved. He said it was a reasonable decision. He said that I'm kind of "in the middle"--I'm not the best subject for this procedure, but I'm not the worst, either.

There's a lot to do before the transplant, getting me ready and making sure all my systems are healthy enough to do it. So far all of my tests have come back fine--the CT scan, my opthalmology exam, the pulmonary exam. I still have to have xrays, an eccocardiogram, appointments with GYN, the dentist, the bone marrow transplant social worker and bmt coordinator. What a whirlwind!

My sister is coming down November 27, after Thanksgiving, to donate her cells. She will have exams and labs the first few days, then have the neupogen shots for four days. Then they will harvest her cells. During the time she is getting the neupogen, they will be giving me chemo to wipe out my cells. I'll probably get her cells on the same day they are harvested. If it takes two days for them to get enough cells from her, they will give me more the second day. Then I'll be in the hospital for at least a couple of weeks, probably longer, to recover. My immune system will be totally wiped out, so I can't get even the tiniest infection or I could die. The weeks following the stem cell transplant will be the worst. But if it works, I'll never have to worry about any kind of cancer again.

Please pray for me, for my sister, Johnnie, and for my family. Thank you!

Lamb, Butterfly, Octopus

2011-11-02T15:04:00.003-05:00

I was going to take more pictures of the little girls in their Halloween costumes, but it's just too much trouble to get them all dressed up again. I didn't get good pics of them that day, but I'll post them anyway, just so you can see their costumes.

Gina was a little lamb.

Aubrey was a butterfly.

And Camryn was an octopus.

All Souls Day

2011-11-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

The practice of recommending to God the souls of the departed in that we may mitigate the great pains which they suffer, and that He may soon bring them to His glory, is most pleasing to God and most profitable to us. For those blessed souls are His eternal spouses, and they are most grateful to those who obtain their deliverance from prison, or even a mitigation of their torments.

Hence, when they shall enter into heaven, they will certainly not forget those who prayed for them. It is a pious belief that God manifests to them our prayers for them, that they also may pray for us.

Let us recommend to Jesus Christ, and to His holy Mother, all the souls in Purgatory, but especially those of our relatives, benefactors, friends, and enemies, and, still more particularly, the souls of those for whom we are bound to pray; and let us consider the great pains which these holy spouses of Jesus Christ endure, and offer to God for their relief the Masses of this day.

The Roman Missal (1962)

The Feast of All Saints

2011-11-01T09:06:00.005-05:00

We can pay no greater honour to the Saints than by offering up to God in their name the Blood of Jesus. The efficacy of their past merits and present prayers is greatly increased when offered to God in close association with the merits and prayers of our Lord.

Therefore the Church commemorates on this day all the Saints in Heaven without exception, and thus honours also those who are unknown and who have no public recognition in the Liturgy.

The Roman Missal (1962)

Go Joe!

2011-10-31T22:06:00.008-05:00

GI Joe, practicing his salute.

Better try the other hand, Joe.

Yeah, the casual salute. :o)

LTC, did anyone ever tell you you have a handsome smile?

Checking out the jack-o-lantern troops.

Waiting to go trick or treating.

C'mon, let's GO!

Go Joe!

Little girl pics coming tomorrow.

A Few Pics From the Weekend

2011-10-31T21:06:00.004-05:00

On Saturday I stayed home with the little girls while Ron, Josh, Cyrise and Reece went to the air show at Randolph. When the girls woke up from their naps, we went out on the deck and watched the Blue Angels fly over our house. We could see a lot of their maneuvers and it was fun. Cammie would say, "Yay, Angels!" And when they would fly out of sight she would hold out her hands and say, "Where?"

The others had fun at Randolph, and an Express News photographer took a picture of Ron and Reece, but we didn't see it on the paper's website on Sunday.

On Sunday the kids painted their Halloween pumpkins. Cyrise had them put their handprints on them, then let them paint the other side with paintbrushes. They had a ball! Ron and Josh carved the big pumpkins for them.

One of the girls gave Gina chocolate chips. She had chocolate all over her face. Sweet. :o)

Friday Chatter

2011-10-28T09:01:00.011-05:00

Today Reece and his parents went with his class to the pumpkin patch. I hope they are having a ball! This is Reece's first time riding on a school bus. It's only 53* right now, but will warm up to a perfect 72* later. They will have a chilly visit with the pumpkins. :o)

My doctor called yesterday to let me know that my CT/PET scan looked good in the preliminary report. He was very pleased. Next week I'll see my new doctor, and have appointments with the pulmonary clinic, ob/gyn and opthalmology, in preparation for the bone marrow transplant.

*Later in the day*

Ron was home today, and we stayed with the little girls while Josh and Cyrise went with Reece's class on the field trip. The girls were good for us. The field trip lasted all day, and Reece enjoyed it, but was tired when they got home. He said it was cold, too. (I don't think it ever did warm up to 70*). Reece liked riding on the school bus. They saw farm animals, went through a hay bale maze, and rode on a wagon pulled by a tractor for a hayride. And they brought home a pumpkin. They were supposed to build a scarecrow and do a couple of other things, but didn't have time.

After they got home, I had to run over to the hospital for labs. Dr. B always likes to be sure my blood levels are okay for over the weekend. I feel fine, so I expect they are okay. Ron ran in at Gran's to give her her meds. She was doing great.

Not sure what the weekend holds. Reece has decided to be GI Joe for Halloween. We need to get him a black or green t-shirt. He has camouflage pants and a camouflage hat. He will wear dog tags and black underneath his eyes. I think he will be cute.

Have a great weekend!

Blue Angels, PET Scan, Cheddars

2011-10-27T12:54:00.003-05:00

There will be an air show this weekend at Randolph AFB, near where we live. The famous Blue Angels will be featured at the show.

They have arrived, and have been flying around today. They're so LOUD! They have flown right over our house several times, and I rush to look out the window every time.

I put the little girls down for their naps, but there's not much chance that they are asleep. The noise of the planes is very exciting. I told them that the planes might fly over and make loud sounds, but they were to stay in bed and try to go to sleep.

I wonder if Reece and his classmates got a chance to see the Angels while they were at recess today. I'm sure the noise interrupted their schoolwork.

I had my PET/CT scan yesterday morning, and should have the results tomorrow--Monday for sure. I've been feeling okay, so I hope the scan shows no cancer. I have an appointment with my "new" doctor next week on Thursday.

That cold front has not quite reached us yet, but we're supposed to have a 30 degree temperature drop later today. It's 79 degrees right now. I'm praying for rain.

Kelly came by yesterday to pick up Gran's meds. I went with her to Gran's, and then we went out to lunch. They built a new Cheddar's near us recently, and it's always busy for dinner, but it wasn't bad at lunch time. We both had a lunch combo of loaded baked potatoes and Caesar salad. It came with a yummy roll, and I had mango tea with mine. Kelly had mango lemonade. It's always fun to spend time with Kel, and I had such a nice afternoon.

An October Monday

2011-10-24T11:07:00.006-05:00

All Hallow's Eve is coming soon.

Hope your weekend was peaceful and good. Ours was quiet. Reece was happy that he didn't have to go to school. :o) He had a good weekend, but was okay with going back to school this morning.

I heard from Dr. B this morning. I was texting him to let him know I was on my way to have my labs done when I got a text from him. The text in part said, "Just wanted to let you know the most recent fluid collection was negative. Good news." That was the spinal fluid collection that he did on Thursday. I'm glad it was negative, but I'm eager to see what the PET scan will show on Wednesday.

It took less than an hour to go to the hospital, get the labs done and come home this morning. I don't think I'll have to go back for any sort of transfusion, as I feel pretty normal today. The Rituxan doesn't seem to make me as sick as some other kinds of chemo.

We're having great weather. It still gets hot, but only in the high 80s instead of the 100s we were having. Nights and mornings are cool and comfortable. In fact, I get cold at night. We still need rain desperately, and may get some on Thursday, along with a cold front coming through.

Reece's class is going on a field trip to a pumpkin patch later this week, and his parents are going along, too. I know they'll have a good time. His class is also carving pumpkins, and will have a parade of children in their costumes for Halloween. The costumes are supposed to be characters from a book. I don't know what he will be, but I'll be sure to post a picture. :o)

Chemo Today, and Some Bad News

2011-10-20T20:35:00.004-05:00

My doctor came by when I was getting the chemo today. He wanted to take another spinal fluid sample from my Ommaya port. He said that the sample he got on Monday came back positive for mantle cell lymphoma. He said that it's possible that he got some peripheral blood in the sample when he put the needle into my scalp. He said, "I didn't mention it, but the sample looked a little cloudy." When he took out the sample today, he said it looked very clear. I don't care where the cancer cells came from, whether they are in my spinal fluid or blood, I don't want them anywhere in my body. Damn cancer.

The chemo that he put in my spinal column on Monday may have killed the bad cells that were there, and maybe that's why it was clear today. He's been using Methotrexate in the Ommaya port, but the backup plan is to also use Rituxan in it later.

I did fine with the Rituxan today, but as usual my afternoon was shot because all I want to do is sleep when I get home. So that's what I did. I didn't have to have platelets today.

I have a PET scan scheduled for next Wednesday, and I'll meet with one of the other bone marrow transplant doctors because my dear Dr. B is being deployed to Afghanistan. I am just heartbroken to think of him going there. But the doctor I'll see is the head of the whole bone marrow transplant unit, so I'll be in good hands. Dr. B is leaving next month, around Thanksgiving, so he will still be here for awhile. I'm wondering if he wants to get the transplant over and done with before he leaves.

He said today that they had decided not to worry about trying to coordinate my treatment with my sister's bone marrow donation, but just to collect her cells and freeze them until I'm ready for them. The ideal situation would be for me to finish my chemo treatment at the same time her cells are collected, and deliver them fresh to me, but that takes a lot of coordination.

Johnnie, my bone marrow donor, will be here for about 2 weeks. I'm so grateful that there is no problem with her being away from her job and family for that time. We still don't know when she is coming, but probably within the next 2 or 3 weeks.

I saw my radiation oncologist on Tuesday, and he was very pleased with my progress. He said the strength in my legs is almost back to 100%. Of course he had not seen the results from the spinal fluid yet, but I'm not scheduled to see him again until February.

Dr. B promised to let me know what he finds as soon as possible, so I'll let y'all know when I know. Meanwhile, your prayers are greatly appreciated! Thank you.

She's a Match!

2011-10-15T13:26:00.010-05:00

Latest news on the cancer front is that my sister Johnnie is a perfect bone marrow match for me! We still don't know when the bone marrow transplant will take place, and I don't know all the particulars about what we need to do next, but I'll keep everyone updated. I'm very thankful that Johnnie is a match and is willing to be a donor for me.

It's been a trying week, and next week promises to be even more stressful, with Mom needing to go to the lab on Monday before her doctor appointment the following week, an appointment for me with my regular oncologist on Monday, an appointment with my radiation oncologist for a 6 week follow-up on Tuesday, and the usual labs on Wednesday, and chemo and probably platelets on Thursday.

When I saw my radiation oncologist the last time, after I completed the radiation therapy on my spine, he said that he hoped the next time he saw me I could walk into his office. I am going to surprise him and do just that on Tuesday. :o) I have been practicing walking around my room without my walker, and I'm doing fine. I'm still a little unsteady and wouldn't want to go on any long hikes or shopping expeditions, but I'll be able to walk into his office.

I was under the mistaken impression that I wouldn't be receiving chemo through my ommaya port, since they didn't find cancer cells in the spinal fluid they withdrew the first time they used it. I just won't be getting it weekly. They would have given it to me through there on Thursday, but I was sick, so my doctor will do it on Monday. Each time they access it they will check the fluid again for cancer cells.

I'm on antibiotics for this respiratory thing I've got. I was so sick on Thursday; I vomited in the car on the way to the hospital (thank goodness Ron had a plastic bag), then again after I took the first of the antibiotics and while I was getting the chemo. My heart rate was so insane when they did my vital signs that they immediately did an EKG and sent me for a chest x-ray. It wasn't pneumonia. If it had been, they were going to put me in the hospital.

We were at the hospital for 8 hours on Thursday. When I finally got home I came straight upstairs. The littles wanted to see me, so they came to my room. I was sitting on the couch at the end of our bed, and when Reece walked in he said to me, "Do you feel bad, baby girl?" Then he came and put his arms around my neck to give me a hug. It was so precious! Then both Aubrey and Camryn came over, smiling and wanting a hug. They are so sweet. It made me feel better right away. :o)

What a whiney post. Sorry, readers.

They're Home :o)

2011-10-10T17:07:00.003-05:00

My buddy is home from Rockport, and my heart is happy. :o)

I have missed all of them. Unfortunately, they are all still sick with colds--runny noses and chest coughs. I'm also coughing.

Reece caught a perch and a yellowtail, and like most fisherman, he exaggerated when he showed me how big they were. :o) It was cute. He is so happy to be home, but he loved being in Rockport.

Ron and I were not home when they arrived. I went to get my hair cut, then we went over to Mom's. Cyrise said the first thing Reece did when they got here was go out and see the puppies. He loves them, and they love him.

When I got here, he wanted to be outside. My tea olive tree is blooming like crazy. It loves the cooler weather, and of course the rain we just got. The whole back yard smells like heaven. I think this is the most blooms I've ever seen on it. So we enjoyed sitting out there for awhile.

Then we came upstairs and he watched a couple of videos while I stole a few snuggles. Now he has gone with his Papa to get a snow cone at HEB. I heard him tell Ron, "I'll get a blue coconut and you can get a margarita." :o) He missed their snow cone runs while he was gone.

All of them look so cute. They went to the beach today after they checked out of the hotel, and they all have pink cheeks and shoulders. They always stop at the beach on the last day, and have a picnic and feed the seagulls.

Because of the rain the fire ants have come out, and Aubrey stepped right into an ant hill today. Cyrise said they ran up her legs immediately. She stripped her clothes off and dipped her in the pool right away, but she still has quite a few bites. Ron put some Benedryl on them. I hope she will leave them alone, but fire ant bites are miserable.

Hope you're enjoying your Columbus day holiday.

This and That

2011-10-07T10:25:00.004-05:00

Photo of sunrise in Rockport taken with Ron's iphone.

The guys got home from their father/son fishing trip yesterday (Thursday). They had a good time; didn't catch too many fish, but Josh did get an 18" trout Wednesday night. I'm glad they got to spend some precious time together.

When Josh got here, he loaded up the truck with his family and all their stuff and headed right back to the coast. The kids were so excited to be going to Rockport. I hope they all get over their colds while they are gone. It sure is quiet here without the four kiddos. They will come home on Sunday.

Jason spent the night here, and is headed home today. Ron is driving him to our halfway meeting point where Jason's wife will meet them. They just left, and I am home alone for the first time in months.

Ron and Jason went over to Gran's last night, and they were able to get her TV working again, thank goodness. We need to have her cable box replaced, but they hooked the TV up directly to the cable, skipping the box, and at least it's working now.

Yesterday Kelly took me to BAMC where I thought I'd receive platelets and chemo through my ommaya and through my chest port. It turned out that I didn't need platelets (yay) and I only received the Rituxan through my chest port. I texted my doctor, mentioning that I didn't receive the other chemo. He called me back to say that the reason they didn't give me the chemo into my spinal fluid is that when they drew out spinal fluid last week, they didn't find ANY cancer cells in it. So I didn't need chemo into my spinal column. (Yay again)!

Although I still have the cauda equina syndrome, recently I've noticed that my balance is better and I can walk a few steps without using the walker. I'm praying hard that my nerves are repairing themselves. From what I've read though, it takes a long time for nerves to heal.

Have a super weekend!

Fishing, Colds, Kelly, Dogs, Dinner and Gran

2011-10-04T17:17:00.006-05:00

(Picture of the kind of trout the guys are hoping to catch tonight. This was taken last year at the coast).

The guys caught some trout last night, but they were not keepers. Jason talked to a fisherman who told them that the little ones were all they would catch in the early evening. He told them they need to fish about midnight to catch the big ones. So they are going out tonight. I hope they all catch some nice big ones. But they are having a good time and enjoying being together, fish or no fish.

Here at home, all the kids are sick. Reece has a terrible, deep chest cough and his little nose is running constantly. He had a fever last night and stayed home from school today. The little girls had a fever today, and have been little pills. Poor Kelly; she, Cyrise and I are almost certain to catch whatever virus they have picked up. As my doctor says, "They are little germ factories."

Kelly has been cleaning and reorganizing my bedroom. It already looks so much better, and she's not finished yet. She's an absolute angel. Her husband works not too far from our house, so he has come by the past two evenings after work to see her and the dogs.

I haven't spent much time with my dogs lately, and they miss me. So yesterday I went out and sat on the bench while Kelly let them out of the dog yard one at a time. They both came straight to me and jumped up next to me on the bench. They loved on me, and I loved on them and brushed them for about 30 minutes each. They still think I'm their mom, and that they are little puppies that can sit on my lap. :o) I love them so much.

Cyrise made salisbury steak, rice and veggies for dinner last night, and it was such a beautiful evening that we sat outside to eat. The kids thought that was fun. It's been awhile since we ate outdoors. It was nice.

Tomorrow I'll go back to the hospital for labs, and then Kelly and I will stop at Gran's. Kelly said Gran's television is not working right, and she couldn't get it fixed today. I think I know what is wrong and can fix it. Gran is always messing it up by pushing the wrong buttons. I hate for her to be without her TV; I know she is missing it. Sometimes she just turns it on "for company."

Chemo, Sisters, Visitors, Rockport

2011-10-03T15:49:00.004-05:00

Picture from April, 2010--our last trip to Rockport.

It's been awhile since I posted. The week sure went by quickly.

Last week on Thursday I had labs, received platelets and had my first round of chemo. They gave me Rituxan through my ommaya reservoir and through my port. I tolerated it well, just a little itchiness in my ears and scratchy throat. I did have some nausea during the following days, but not too bad. I slept most of the day Thursday, from the benedryl I think. They always give benedryl and tylenol before transfusions and before chemo.

I haven't been back to the hospital since then. My doctor believes that I'll need platelets again in about a week, so I'll do the same things next Thursday, except that I'll have labs done the day before. I'm taking all kinds of medicines, of course. Some of them make me feel sick.

Because the radiation I had earlier has messed up my bone marrow's ability to make cells, my doctors want to go ahead with the bone marrow transplant sooner than expected. Since I can't use my own cells this time around, they asked if my sisters would be tested to see if they are a match for bone marrow. They mailed a kit to my sister in Kansas, but they gave me the kit to give my sister Sandi from Bryan since she was going to be here over the weekend.

Sandi called me at lunch time today to let me know that she had done the labs and they were going to send it back today, so my doctors should have it tomorrow. There was a FedEx envelope to overnight it back in the kit. She is really hoping that she's a match; she wants so badly to be able to do something to help me. I am blessed to have so many people who love me.

It was nice to have Sandi here this weekend. She stopped on the way in to visit, before going on to Mom's. Then she and Mom came over in the evening for a visit. Our oldest son, Jason, also arrived Saturday. His sister-in-law gave him a ride to San Antonio, so I got to visit with her and see her two oldest children in the afternoon. That was such a pleasure. So Saturday was a really busy day and I was up and down the stairs several times during the day. By evening I was worn out.

On Sunday Ron, Jason and Josh left for Rockport. They have been planning a guys only fishing trip ever since last year when we were in Rockport. Ron almost cancelled because of my treatments, but I told him I wanted them to go. Our sweet Kelly volunteered to come and stay with us while Ron and Josh are gone. She drives Reece to school, goes to Grans and will take me to my doctor appointments. She and her dogs arrived Sunday evening. I know it's not comfortable for all of them to be here; she and the dogs are all homebodies. But she doesn't care; she just wants to help. And she is! I don't know what we would do without her.

We've talked with the guys several times, and they are having fun. They haven't caught any fish yet, but have gotten a few crabs. Josh said they were either too little, or nasty looking with barnacles on them, but they will keep trying. :o) Jason had to buy a new fishing pole because one of the guides on his broke off. Today when they called Ron and Jason were sitting on the porch in rocking chairs, just enjoying the beautiful weather and the Gulf. Josh had gone grocery shopping.

Our weather here is pretty, too. It got cold last night (in the 50s), but is in the mid-eighties today. Kelly and Gina are napping, Reece and the little girls are outside with the dogs, and Cyrise is downstairs keeping an eye on them. It's fairly calm and quiet right now. I told Reece he is the man of the house since all the guys are away. :o)

Happy Birthday, Jacob!

2011-10-01T16:18:00.003-05:00

I hope that you are having the best birthday ever, Jake!

I wish you all the ice cream, cake and presents you want.

I wish you happy days.

I wish you Legos and Transformers.

And I wish you were here right now so that we could celebrate your 7th birthday together!

I love you, sweet boy.

Gramma

Chatter

2011-09-27T18:02:00.005-05:00

The meeting with Reece's teacher was postponed until tomorrow (Cyrise wasn't feeling well this morning). Reece has been happy the past two days; he mentioned having lunch with a little boy yesterday, and told me about a little girl with curly hair who is nice. Those seem like good signs, and I pray that he continues to interact well with the other children. Thank you all for praying, too!

I had the staples removed from my head this afternoon. Also had lab tests, which showed that I didn't need a transfusion of any kind today, but will probably need platelets on Thursday when I go back. I talked to my doctor, and will see him on Thursday, when we'll discuss our updated plan of attack and I'll probably start on the Rituxan. The radiation has affected my bone marrow's ability to make cells, so we are having to delay some of the chemo for now. Dr. B is thinking I may need the stem cell transplant sooner rather than later.

I'm so tired of all of it.

I saw Mom today for the first time in a few weeks. It was so good to see her, and she was delighted to see my face, too. We had a nice visit. She looks wonderful. She said that Ron, Kelly and Josh have been taking good care of her. We're blessed to have such a wonderful family to help out.

Cyrise has made a roast beef for supper and it smells heavenly! She and Josh are both good cooks and keep me well fed. :o) My appetite is not bad, but not as good as it was. I've lost about 20 pounds since this all started, but you wouldn't call me skinny.

Later.

Sad (Updated)

2011-09-26T06:47:00.005-05:00

I hate having nothing to write about except the cancer stuff, so blogging has been slow lately.

This week we will probably start the chemo treatments. Not looking forward to that. I don't yet know the results of the bone marrow biopsy that was done on Thursday, or the MRI that was done on Friday. Dr. B and Dr. T (neurosurgeon who placed the Ommaya reservoir) are coordinating the timing of the chemo so that Dr. T can be there the first time to show them exactly where and how to use the Ommaya. I still have the staples in my head, but they are to come out tomorrow.

All of this pales in comparison to what is really on my heart and mind today. Yesterday Reece was in here with me, and he said that he eats in the cafeteria. I said, "Do you like eating lunch in the cafeteria?" and he said that he did. I said, "Do you eat with all the other kids?" and he said, "No, I eat with myself." I said, "Oh, you don't eat with the other kids in your class?" and he said "No, they don't like me." It just broke my heart to hear him say that. I asked him why he thought they didn't like him and he said they are mean to him. Then he wouldn't talk about it any more.

This is exactly the kind of thing I was afraid would happen if he went to school. I just cannot bear knowing that anyone is being unkind to him. I hate this! I don't know what to do. I feel like someone punched me in the stomach.

Reece still seems to like going to school. He had to stay home one day last week with a fever, and he asked me if he would still go to school. I told him yes, that he was only staying home because he was sick, but he would go back again when he was well. He said that he would just stay home, but he didn't object at all the next day when he was getting ready for school. He sings little songs that he learns and tells me about playing with pattern blocks and going to the library. He still says that he likes school.

But he doesn't like to do the work required and won't try very hard. His teachers have said that he doesn't participate. He has always been slower than most kids to learn things, but he does learn them. The problem is that in school they are all expected to do the same things at the same time, and the cookie cutter approach is just not going to work for Reece.

His reactions to things are different from most kids, too. When he really likes something, he will shake his hands, do a little dance and get really excited. He likes to make loud noises, but I don't think he does that at school--at least we haven't heard from any of his teachers that he does that. Maybe those kinds of things make him seem strange to the other kids. It breaks my heart, though, because he loves other kids and he has such a sweet spirit. I don't want to see that broken, and I'm so afraid it will be (or has been).

His parents have written a note to his teacher asking for an evaluation, but there has been no response so far. Please send up a prayer for my sweet little buddy. Thanks.

*Update* Reece's teacher finally called his mommy this morning to schedule a meeting. His parents will meet with her and the counselor tomorrow morning. Thanks for your prayers! Please keep praying for him. Thank you friends and loved ones.

Another Update

2011-09-21T12:09:00.004-05:00

Josh took me to BAMC this morning in rush hour traffic so that I could have lab tests that took about 1 minute. My doctor called later to say my platelets are "trending down," and that tomorrow after my bone marrow biopsy I will need a transfusion. White counts are also down. We think it's due to the radiation, and may take awhile for things to start upwards again.

Meanwhile, I saw the doctor on Monday. My low blood counts and having to wait for the surgical site (Ommaya reservoir) to heal have delayed the treatment plan a bit. That is worrisome because of the aggressiveness of the mantle cell lymphoma. Dr. B believes that we can go ahead and start the Rituxan as early as next week. It won't affect the healing of the surgical site like other kinds of chemo. Once the site has healed, the other chemo can be started.

I'll be receiving chemo both systemically and intrathecally. The spinal cord is known as a "sanctuary site." There is a physical and chemical barrier which prevents toxins from reaching the spinal fluid, and that makes it difficult to treat the mantle cell which has invaded my central nervous system. That's why we are using the Ommaya reservoir; the chemo can be put directly into my spinal fluid where it will circulate through those bad cells. In addition, the chemo will be put into my chest port, to take care of cancer cells in other places in my body.

I had a PT session yesterday afternoon. It didn't seem like I did that much, but it sure made me tired. The low platelets and white cells probably account for that, though.

In addition to the bone marrow biopsy and platelet transfusion tomorrow, I have another MRI scheduled on Friday. Dr. B wants to take a good look at my lower spine again, to see what the radiation has done to the cancer cells.

Enough boring cancer stuff. Hope your week is going well!

Saturday Morning

2011-09-17T11:46:00.003-05:00

I don't know what the heck they used in my hair for the ommaya surgery, but I suspect axle grease. I have washed and washed my hair, and it still won't come out. I am going to use Dawn dishwashing soap the next time--you know, the stuff they use on seagulls that get caught in an oil spill? Seriously, I think that's the only thing that might work.

Other than that minor frustration, things are going well. My doctor called yesterday and wanted me to go to the hospital for labs, to make sure that my platelets were okay over the weekend. Josh took me over there about 3 PM, after picking up Reece at school. The doc never called me to tell me to come back for a platelet transfusion, so I guess my platelets were okay. I feel okay, and have no bleeding or bruises. I have an appointment to see him on Monday.

On the way home from the hospital yesterday, we got rained on! It was so nice to smell the rain. It wasn't much, but it was so welcome. As we got out of the car Josh said that he should have gotten the umbrella for me, and I told him, "No, it feels good to feel the rain!" Maybe we'll have a nice rainy fall to fix this drought.

Reece and I slept in this morning. It felt so good to wake up with him snuggled next to me. He came in last night before 9 and said he wanted to take a nap. Of course the nap lasted all night long. He slept the clock around, plus some! Then Papa brought us doughnuts from Shipleys for Saturday breakfast. Yum! He had chocolate frosted and I had cinnamon sugar.

Not sure what the weekend holds. More rain, I hope!

Ommaya Is In

2011-09-15T07:15:00.005-05:00

I had the ommaya reservoir put in on Tuesday. My platelet count was too low on Monday to do it, but Tuesday morning they gave me lots of platelets and then I went right up to surgery while my count was high. I spent the night in the hospital Tuesday, came home Wednesday morning.

There was no problem with the surgery. Now we have to let my head heal before we can actually use the device for chemo. The neurosurgeon didn't even shave my head, but put it in a part. He said he made a small slit and slipped it into the incision like a pocket. It hurts a little bit, like I bumped my head really hard, and I have a slight headache sometimes, but Tylenol takes care of that. The soreness will go away in time. Seems weird to think I have something in my brain.

When I got home yesterday, I stayed downstairs to spend some time with the little girls. They were happy to see me and I enjoyed watching them play. We had lunch together, then I came upstairs, where Reece found me when he came home from school. He was glad to see me, too. He and Aubrey watched videos on my computer on my bed, but I got so sleepy I fell asleep and their daddy took them downstairs. I napped the rest of the afternoon, and when I woke up there was beef and veggie kabobs and roasted potatoes for dinner.

I thought I'd be up late, but Reece wanted to sleep with us last night, so I lay down with him about 8:50 and we both went right to sleep. I slept again until 6:30 this morning when he got up. He has gone to school now, and I miss him.

I don't have anything I have to do today, and I'm glad. I don't want to go anywhere, especially the hospital.

Little Updates

2011-09-11T21:45:00.004-05:00

I have some powerful prayer warriors out there praying for me. Thank you!!!!

My doctors let me come home from the hospital yesterday evening, which was a big surprise. They said that they could do what they were doing for me on an out-patient basis just as easily as they could do it there. I'll go back tomorrow morning to see if my platelets have stayed up. They went from 6,000 to 86,000 overnight, after I received a platelet transfusion Friday night. Made me feel much better.

I won't know whether they will go ahead with the ommaya reservoir surgery until we get the results of my lab tests in the morning. If they go ahead with it, it's scheduled for 10 AM.

Josh made spaghetti for dinner last night, and grilled chicken in raspberry marinade tonight, and I cleaned my plate both times, which is unusual for me lately. I've had very little appetite. But being home and Josh's home-cooking has been good for me. :o)

I got to spend quite a bit of time with Reece over the weekend, which is always a blessing. He just calms me and makes my heart happy.

We learned on Thursday that his whole class has been reassigned to different classes. The school had four kindergarten teachers, and fewer kindergartners than they expected. So they reassigned Reece's teacher to another grade and distributed her students among the other three teachers. We were all distressed about it because after three weeks he had settled in and loved Mrs. O and his classmates, but he doesn't seem to be upset about it. They went to their new classes on Friday, and he likes his new teacher, too. Some of his original classmates went with him. I'm sure he will adjust just fine, but I am sorry that he has to go through this change.

I went to his school on Thursday for Grandparent's Day. I took a book to read to his class. When I got there they were doing the cutest little dance, and Reece was watching his classmates more than he was participating. He had a big sweet smile on his face as he watched them, and now and then he would do one of the actions along with them. It was so typical of him. When they finished and turned around, I was sitting in the rocking chair and he looked so surprised to see me. I had told him I'd be there, but he must have forgotten.

I read to the class and they were all very cute and responsive. After that Reece and I went to the library together for juice and doughnuts. It was fun. I was afraid he would get upset when I left to go home, but he didn't. By then there was another grandmother in the rocking chair, so when we got back to his room I told him to go sit on the carpet and hear the story, and he did. He gave a little smile and wave and settled right down.

Hope you've all had a good weekend, and that the upcoming week will be a great one.

In Memory

2011-09-11T20:08:00.004-05:00

A Saturday Hike

2011-09-11T16:25:00.007-05:00

Jason took Lily and Jacob hiking in a park near their home on Saturday, and sent me some pictures he took with his phone.

Jason and I talked by phone on Friday, and he was recalling how he and his friends roamed the creeks and forested areas around where we lived in Missouri when he was a boy. He said that he wishes his children could do that, but we agreed that the world is not quite the same place it used to be. I'm glad that if they are out exploring parks and hiking trails that he is with them.

He said that Lily's mission was to see a rabbit, and they did see one on the way back to their van.

Jason said, "I forgot to mention that Lily saw a cardinal, too. And we found a dead tree with lots of holes in it, apparently the frequent target of woodpeckers that I've heard in those woods (although we didn't hear or see them on this hike). And the kids learned about a squirrel's danger/warning bark. Oh, there was also a BIG fallen pine that crossed the creek like a bridge. Jake wanted to go across it, of course, but I convinced him it would be a bad idea.

It was a long way for little legs to walk: two-and-a-half miles, round trip. They were tired, but when we got back to the van and they had some water from a fountain (they'd drank all their water from the water bottles) I asked them if it was too long, too short, or just right, and they both said 'just right.'

Jake kept talking about computer games, at first. Then he started finding cool rocks and sticks and bamboo. He was also impressed with Lily's discovery of ants carrying leaves. He looked for snakes and alligators, but couldn't find any."

I loved hearing about their hike and seeing the pictures. I asked Jason if I could share them on my blog, since I don't get to blog about his family as often since we aren't together every day. I'd love it if we lived closer, but at least they aren't all the way across the country or in another part of the world. They are three hours away, and we see them every few months.

Thanks for sharing your hike, Jason, Lily and Jacob! I love you all so much.

Crud, Crud, Crud, Dang.

2011-09-09T18:06:00.004-05:00

I am back in the hospital.

The next step in my treatment plan is to have a thing called an ommaya reservoir placed in my head. It would be used to administer chemo directly into my spinal fluid through the reservoir in my brain. Sounds awful, I know, but wow, how amazing that they can do such a thing. The procedure to put it in was to be done on Monday.

So today I had to come to BAMC to for pre-admission, which included paperwork, labs, x-ray, EKG, etc. We finally got out of here around 12:20 and went to lunch. When we got home, the hospital called and said I had to go back to the lab in the morning because my platelet count was extremely low. So low they thought there was an error. Then my doctor called and told me he wanted me to come back NOW, get another lab test, and be admitted.

The low platelet count is rather sudden, and they believe that it is from either the radiation or that the mantle cells have crowded them out. The most likely case is that it's the radiation, since they just finished irradiating my low back/spine last week. The last labs I had didn't show anything wrong. I've had some blood when I blow my nose, I've felt extremely fatigued and lightheaded, and I've had some weird bruising over the past week, and now we know why.

So, here I am, back again, in the very same room I was in a month ago. They accessed my new port for the first time today to draw blood. They will be giving me platelets as soon as it is crossed and matched.

I don't know if they will go ahead with the ommaya reservoir on Monday or not. We'll have to see how I do, and if I can keep my platelet count up.

Not sure how long I'll be here. As always, your prayers would mean so much to me. Thank you!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2011-09-05T22:37:00.004-05:00

Today is my mom's 85th birthday. I feel so bad because we were not able to have the little celebration we had planned for her. Everyone here has been sick for the past week or so. Ron took her medicine to her today, and also took her some flowers and dinner for the two of them. He is such a sweetheart. He said that she was still in her PJs when he got there, and had forgotten that we had planned to take her out to eat. He assured her that we would have a belated birthday celebration later on this week or next weekend, and she was happy with that.

I had my physical therapy session on Friday, and will go twice a week for awhile. The therapist gave me some exercises to do at home, but I didn't do them over the weekend because I felt so bad. It has nothing to do with the cancer or radiation (I don't think), but is from the cold virus or whatever we all have. I think Reece brought it home from school. Nausea, fatigue, chest cough, runny nose and just a general sick feeling.

After all these 100 degree days, it is finally beginning to cool off a bit. The low in the morning is supposed to be 59 degrees. However, we are desperate for rain. There are wildfires all over Texas, including one in a large subdivision just north of San Antonio. You can smell the smoke outside.

Enough of my rambling. I don't really have anything to say tonight. :o)

Friday Update

2011-09-02T11:12:00.002-05:00

It's been a busy week. My radiation treatments were completed with focus on my lower spine Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

On Monday I also had the MUGA scan (which took nearly 3 hours to complete). On Tuesday I met with one of my doctors, who gave me the run-down on the plan they've come up with for my treatment. She was very excited about the movement I'm regaining in my toes and feet. My radiation oncologist said that things should continue to improve over the next few weeks as the radiation continues to do its job. I met with the people who put in the port line that day, too. I had only radiation on Wednesday, and a stop at the pharmacy.

Then yesterday morning they placed the port in my chest. I was sedated for the procedure, and was sleepy and groggy all day yesterday. They will start the chemo in 7 to 14 days. I'm sure I'll have some scans to see where things are before we begin. I'll be in the hospital for a few days for the chemo. The treatment plan is a bit complicated, and I'll explain more as we go along. My doctor has been talking with experts all over the country, and is excited to have found a treatment that seems very effective on my kind of cancer, but is still experimental. We will be taking things a step at a time, depending on how I react to the treatment.

Meanwhile, I'm relieved to have the radiation finished and have a break before the chemo starts. I plan to enjoy the long weekend. Monday is Mom's birthday, so we'll have a special celebration to look forward to then. And next week on Thursday I am planning to visit Reece's classroom for Grandparent's Day. I'm supposed to take a book to read to his class. :o)

Reece is still enjoying school. He is not a morning person, but he still gets up and never complains about going. His parents met with his teacher earlier this week, and she said that Reece has not been participating or interacting with her or the other kids. He isn't completing his work. She was surprised when the kids told her how much he loves going to school. And we were surprised that he wasn't interacting. It sometimes takes him a long time to get used to new things; he likes to stand back and watch for awhile. I'm sure that he just needs a little more time to get used to things. I'd love for his teacher to be able to see how he is at home. We have been talking to him about how important it is for him to do what his teacher tells him to do. He likes her very much and I know he wants to please her. Please send up a little prayer for him! Thank you.

I have my first physical therapy session this afternoon. I'm not sure how much help it will be, since my problem is more with my nerves than my muscles, but we'll see.

Kelly was here on Wednesday to pick up Gran's meds and help me out with some cleaning in my bedroom and bathroom. She took Gran to lunch at Olive Garden yesterday. They had fun.

Well, that's how the week has gone here. I hope you all have a lovely long Labor Day weekend!

The Schoenstatt Shrine for Fauxpetals

2011-08-28T12:02:00.006-05:00

Kelly emailed me a link to some Flicker pictures she added recently. They turned out to be from our trip to Rockport last year, April 2010, just before I found out I had cancer.

These pictures were taken at the Schoenstatt Shrine in Lamar. Look how much younger Reece and Jacob look! They've both changed so much in a year.

I first learned about the Schoenstatt Shrine and Mother Thrice Admirable several years ago from my internet friend Karen/Fauxpetals. She told me how she had the visiting Mother Thrice Admirable statue in her home. Since then I've learned that we have a small shrine here in San Antonio, and another on the outskirts of the city. Plus there is one in Corpus Christi as well as the one in Lamar, near Rockport. They are beautiful little shrines.

You can read more about the shrines, the founder, Fr. Joseph Kentenich and the mission of the Schoenstatt sisters and priests here.

A Good First Week of School

2011-08-26T07:19:00.004-05:00

Reece is still enjoying school very much, eager and excited to go every day. I'm so happy that he likes it!

He usually joins me in my room after school. He talks, has a snack, we watch videos and play, and he rests. So far he hasn't had much "homework."

When Papa gets home from work, Reece leaves me to go swimming and play outside. Then there's dinner, bath and bedtime. The day goes quickly!

Josh and I have had a little break from taking Gran's meds to her since Wednesday (Kelly is doing is it Wed-Fri), so we stopped on the way home from the hospital to have breakfast at Cracker Barrel yesterday. That was fun.

I'm off to shower and get ready for the day. Not sure what the weekend will bring, but I hope you have a great one!

A Day In My Life

2011-08-23T21:08:00.011-05:00

Another day of school for Reece. He was so tired this morning, but managed to go off to school cheerfully and full of excitement again. When he got home, he rested on my bed with me while we watched videos and snuggled. He got to bed earlier tonight, and I'm sure he will feel much better in the morning after a good night's sleep.

Another day of radiation, doctor visits, pharmacy pick-up and a stop at Gran's on the way home for me and Josh. Gran was still in her PJs at noon, but she was up and about and ate the leftover breakfast tacos we took to her with gusto. :o)

Kelly is coming tomorrow. She will take over Gran's med deliveries for a few days. Gran will be happy to see her smiling face. Kel's finally getting over that darn summer virus.

Early next week I'll have a MUGA scan and probably have a picc line or port inserted for the chemo to come. My radiation oncologist wants to give me 3 more days of radiation on the lower part of my spine Monday through Wednesday next week, so hopefully I can wait on the line until after that.

My afternoons are usually spent in my room, napping, surfing the web, watching a little TV, knitting, reading. I move around from bed to chair to sofa now and then, just to change things up a bit. :o) I have a little stash of snacks beside my bed, and a shoebox full of meds and stack of books on my dresser.

The past two days when Reece gets home, he stays with me, snuggling together on my bed and watching videos or playing with playdoh or toys. He might run out to see the puppies for a bit, but he always comes back. But when Papa gets home from work, he is ready to swim and play outside and spend time with his Papa. I love that.

The little girls come in to entertain me now and then with their grinning faces and busy little hands, but they don't usually stay long. I often put them down at bedtime, reading stories, telling nursery rhymes and singing songs to them. They love the special time and attention, even though they never want to go to sleep.

All of a sudden my room and bath has the look of an invalid's room--the shoebox of meds on my dresser, shoes with braces on the floor, a walker constantly at hand, a high-rise toilet seat and a shower chair--all things that make life easier for me. I certainly have a better appreciation of the handicapped!

So, that's a day in my life right now. Still praying that someday things will return to normal, but meanwhile we are coping and things are not so bad. I thank God for all of you and your prayers. God bless you!

Reece Loved Kindergarten!

2011-08-22T18:40:00.004-05:00

My heart is overflowing with joy that Reece had such a good day at school. He really, really liked it! He likes his teacher very much, and enjoyed everything they did. He enjoyed the other children. He wasn't afraid, didn't cry or get upset in any way that we are aware of, and just had a great day in general. Thank you, Lord, thank you!

He was cheerful and happy when he got home, and shared his day with us. He says he wants to go again tomorrow. He said he missed us, but he still wants to go to school. I'm so glad!

My heart aches a little bit because I really would love to have homeschooled him, but what with all that has happened over the past year with the cancer, that just wasn't working out. But I can still teach him, supplementing what he is learning at school.

Speaking of the cancer, I got the results of all the testing they did while I was in the hospital, and there are no surprises. We were 99% sure it was the mantle cell lymphoma which had returned, and we were right. The good news is that now we know definitely what is going on, and can start the correct treatment when the radiation is finished.

I was really praying that radiation of my spinal cord would take care of it, but more than likely I'll have to have chemotherapy again, and probably another stem cell transplant (I cannot use my own cells this time, though). As much as I dread going through all this again, I will never stop fighting and will do whatever is necessary to keep beating it back as often as I can.

There is a little bit of involvement around my heart, but the doctor said there is very little disease there. They will leave it to my oncology radiation doc whether he wants to try to irradiate that little bit, or leave it to the chemo. There was no sign of the mantle cell lymphoma in my bone marrow, so mostly we're talking about the spinal cord.

There's not much change in my neural function (I think that's the right expression to use)--still have the tingling, numbness and weakness in my buttocks, hips and down my legs--but I'm still walking with the walker and doing as much I can. I'll be starting some physical therapy soon, to help keep my muscles strong in case I do regain function of my legs. There's some danger of the radiation doing even more damage to my nerves, so that's another reason to be cautious about using it. So far, after 8 of 12 treatments, I'm doing okay with it. Fatigued, a bit of nausea, but okay.

Anyway, I'll keep everyone in the loop as much as possible regarding the cancer and treatment. Thank you as always for your wonderful prayers.

And please continue to pray for Reece, that school is a joy to him and that he learns and grows as beautifully as I'm sure he will. Thank you!

Here He Goes!

2011-08-22T08:26:00.003-05:00

Reece is stepping out into a whole new world this morning. It's his first day of kindergarten!

He was so excited when he woke up, knowing that he would go to school today. He met his teacher and saw his classroom last week. He knew where he would sit. He was happy about new supplies, a backpack and new clothes.

I keep trying to imagine what he must be doing "right now." I'm praying that he will like school and do well. I can't wait until 2:30 when he can come home and tell us all about it!

Profession of Brother L. Harton, OSB

2011-08-19T14:29:00.013-05:00

Remember the young "seminarians" who prayed for me and celebrated Mass for me at the lake where my sister was camping? (See "Sweet Blessings" post below). Johnnie sent me the link their web page. It turns out they were from St. Benedict's Abbey in Atchison, Kansas.

The sweet lady who hosted the brothers at the lake is the mom of a young man who recently professed his vows there. Here's a video of his profession, and a link to their website:

http://www.kansasmonks.org/

I'm sure they would appreciate our prayers and support. (I can't seem to make the link work. If you copy and paste it into the browser, it works).

Sheltered

2011-08-18T08:44:00.002-05:00

My sister in Kansas sent me this picture in an email yesterday. Isn't it adorable?

Psalm 57:1 In the shadow of your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by...

Home Sweet Home!

2011-08-17T20:39:00.006-05:00

I'm home from the hospital. Got here last night around 8 PM, and it's so wonderful to be here! The kids and the dogs were glad to see me, and vice versa. :o)

I'll have radiation every day for the rest of the week, and each week day of next week. I've had 5 treatments so far, and will have 7 more. Then we'll see where things stand. The treatments are targeting what we believe are abnormal mantle cells in my spinal cord. I'm praying that when the cancerous cells are killed, my nerves will heal and I'll regain the use of my legs. I can stand and move about with the walker, but I want full use again!

I bought new sneakers today that will hold some braces they gave me. They help hold up my toes, making it easier to walk. They look funny, but I don't care. Love the shoes--they're cute. Kelly was with me, and we bought her the hiking boots I'd promised her for her birthday. She has the cutest little feet, and the boots look adorable on her. Also got a couple pair of lightweight sweatshirt material capris that just pull on. Much easier for radiation.

Josh took me to the hospital for my treatment this morning, then we met Kelly at Great-Gran's for lunch. Gran is doing well, looked great, and had been busy cleaning. She was concerned about me, but not unreasonably so. I was so happy to see her doing so well.

We drove the truck, which is a bit high for me to get into in my current state. I thought we might need a step stool so that I could climb in, but Josh just picked me up and put me in, no problem. It would be wonderful to be so big and strong!

Those scrubs I'm wearing in the picture (from a few days ago) say, US Government Property, stolen if removed from premises. I don't why, but I thought that was so funny. I look so happy in the picture because I'm talking to Reece on the phone. :o)

Kelly's truck battery gave out while we were out shopping for our shoes. She didn't feel well anyway, and had a miserable afternoon. They did manage to get it home safe and sound (her husband came by to help out). Kel, take care of your cold, rest and relax! I love you.

I watched the kids swim this evening when Ron got home. They are doing great! Reece is a little fish, and Aubrey is not far behind.

Thank you friends and family for your love and prayers. I don't know how I'd manage to get through this again without you. I love you.

Just Another Day In The Hospital

2011-08-15T21:39:00.002-05:00

Another day of tests. I was supposed to have a PET scan this morning, so was NPO (without food) overnight. But when I got down there, my blood sugar was too high to do the scan. So it has been postponed until tomorrow, if they can get my sugar level down. They brought me back to my room, and I used the time to shower and knit.

I continued to be NPO all day, because they didn't want me eating before the cervical spinal puncture, either. Around 1:30 I went to the special procedures unit for the puncture. They did it using xray, so they could see exactly where the needle was going. They were able to get some spinal fluid, and will have the results in the next couple of days. All I know now is that they said there were a lot of lymph cells in the fluid, so it's looking more and more like what we expect--that the mantle cell is back. It was an interesting procedure, and not as scary (or painful) as I expected.

I had to lie flat for 2 hours after the procedure to keep from getting a bad headache, but had a radiation treatment directly after the puncture. They were able to keep me flat, though, but the radiation took forever today. My lower back and coccyx were killing me by the time they finished because of having to lie for so long on the hard metal table. They were having trouble seeing what they were looking for, and getting me lined up properly. After awhile I was having muscle spasms that made me move, which only made things harder. They finally did finish the treatment though. I have another one tomorrow.

By the time I could sit up, it was dinner time. I ordered dinner and ate every bite of it, I was so hungry!

I watched a bit of TV and knitted some more, then Kelly came over to see me for awhile. She just left a few minutes ago. She is such a sweetheart. I hate for her to be out driving so late, but I really enjoyed her visit.

If all goes well tomorrow, they will look at letting me go home in the afternoon. I am so ready!

Prayers continue to be much appreciated. Thank you!

Sweet Blessings

2011-08-14T12:56:00.007-05:00

I talked to my youngest sister in Kansas yesterday. She and her husband were camping at a lake in northern Kansas. She said the people camping next to them were hosting several seminarians from someplace in Atchison, Kansas. She said the young men were having a ball, swimming, skiing, going out on the lake in the boat.

Johnnie talked to their hostess, who asked if they had been kept awake by the praying the night before. Johnnie had not heard the night prayers because she went to bed early. I wonder if she heard them last night. What a wonderful way to go to sleep!

She told the lady about me and asked her to ask the seminarians to pray for me. Later in the day Johnnie called me back and said not only did they pray for me, they celebrated Mass for me! It made me cry.

I am waiting for her to get back to me about exactly where they are from. I want to know more about them! Wasn't that a wonderful thing to happen?

On another "spiritual" note, the priest here at BAMC came by and gave me the anointing of the sick, which was very nice, too.

I'm glad someone is working on the spiritual aspect of things, because I don't seem to be able to focus much on that right now. All I can seem to say is "Thy will be done." That's why I appreciate all of your prayers so much.

PS: I had just posted this message when one of the hospital Catholic volunteers came by to ask if I wanted to receive Communion. What a sweet man he was! He actually got choked up during his prayers for me, and gave my shoulder a squeeze. We had a nice chat before he left. Sometimes people are so beautiful.

It's Back (Probably)

2011-08-12T21:56:00.005-05:00

Well, we are finally getting some answers about my low back/coccyx pain and the numbness and tingling. The neurologist I saw on Wednesday put me back into the hospital. He saw something on the MRI I had a few weeks ago that everyone had missed, so he ordered another one. There's a cluster of cells at the bottom of my spine. They were unable to get enough fluid from my lower spine to find out exactly what the cells are, but of course the most likely case is that it is the mantle cell lymphoma returning. They're going to do another spinal tap at the top of my spine on Monday, using xray and ultrasound to see exactly where the needle is going. There is fluid there, and hopefully we'll be able to get a diagnosis. I'll also be getting a PET scan on Monday, or maybe tomorrow.

Meanwhile, they are looking everywhere else in my body for signs of it. So far I've had a CT scan, getting ready for radiation, a colonoscopy, a bone marrow biopsy, the lumbar puncture, an MRI that lasted an hour and a half! A scan of my head which will be used to see where they want to do the upper spinal puncture on Monday. So far they haven't found any more mantle cells, so I'm hoping it is just in an isolated spot that radiation can zap. I may have to do more chemo, too, though.

I had my first radiation treatment today. They decided to go ahead and start radiation because they didn't want me to continue losing my neural function. The treatment has already been delayed because of the mistake in reading the first MRI, so during those few weeks I lost more control in my back, legs, hips, feet and some control of my bladder and bowels. I'm praying that I will regain at least some all of that as we progress with the treatment.

I'll have 15 days of radiation. It was going to be 10 days, 300 units each time, but my radiation oncologist decided to do 250 units over 15 days instead. A little easier on my spine.

My dear Dr. B is out of town for two weeks, but the team here is keeping him up to date with my treatment.

There is the slight possibility that this could be something other than mantle cell lymphoma, or that the mass of cells growing on my spine could be something benign, but knowing how aggressive and sneaky mantle cell is, I didn't want to take the chance of not doing anything and losing more of the use of my legs. Whatever it is is not supposed to be there, it's growing fast and I just want it gone.

So once again I am begging for your prayers for me and my family as we deal with yet another health crisis in our lives. Thank you so much!

Ron got me a card for my computer so that I can use it here in the hospital. What a sweetie he is. He and Kelly were here tonight.

I had a really busy day, was out of my room until dinner time and was up all night last night doing the prep for the colonoscopy. So I'm miserable and ready for sleep. Once again, thank you for praying.

A Bit of Good News

2011-08-08T19:14:00.006-05:00

August flower, the gladiolus.

I have the worlds. best. doctor. When he read my text that I couldn't see the neurologist until the 23rd, he called and told me that he wanted me seen much sooner, and he would take care of it. And he did. Now my appointment is Wednesday, the 10th. It's the same day as my physical therapy appointment, but one's in the morning, and one in the afternoon.

Things are pretty much the same around here. Reece has learned to swim; did I tell you that? He is so proud. He can swim from the deep end of the pool all the way to the steps in the shallow end. He looks so cute swimming! Papa has been working so patiently with him. Aubrey is swimming a little, too. Children are so remarkable.

Yesterday I watched most of the Falling Skies marathon. I've always been interested in "end of civilization as we know it" type stories like Stephen King's The Stand, and the movie Red Dawn.

Now that the year is half over, I am thinking about Christmas. I found an easy pattern for little girl sweaters that I think I'll try when I finish the little blanket I'm knitting now. It will be fun to make tiny sweaters for the little girls.

Have a great week!

Blech.

2011-08-04T17:49:00.005-05:00

My doctor has referred me to a neurologist. Some of the chemo drugs cause peripheral neuropathy, and I think that's what has happened. I have tingling and numbness in my buttocks muscles and down my legs. I can't wiggle my toes, and it's hard to lift my legs.

The neuropathy sometimes goes away on its own, and sometimes never goes away. We're not sure if it has anything to do with the coccyx pain, or whether that's an entirely separate issue. My feeling is that it is somehow related, but who knows?

Walking is difficult, but if I sit around too much I get stiff and it's even harder to walk. I'm still using the walker.

The yoga tape and mat that Kelly got for me arrived, and I've used it once, but some of the things I can't do at all. So I'm just doing what I can as gently and carefully as possible.

The neurologist is supposed to call me for an appointment. I have an appointment for physical therapy on August 10. I'm so ready to have something done about this. I hate not being able to function normally. *edit* Someone from the neurology clinic just called and set the appointment for August 23. I was hoping to get in much sooner!

So I am in my room most of the time, reading, watching TV, surfing the net and knitting. The kids and Ron have been so sweet, bringing me food, doing my laundry, etc. Reece likes to be here with me, and the little girls come in from time to time. I hobble into their room some nights, to read them stories and put them to bed.

I finished all the Belgariad series, then started reading anything I could find lying around--mysteries, kids books (Heidi and The Ranger Boys). Anything to keep myself occupied.

Ron got me a coccyx cushion to sit on, and a shower chair, which makes showering so much more comfortable and easy. I feel like an invalid.

I had 9 months of "normalcy" after my cancer treatment and transplant, and I am so grateful for that. As uncomfortable as this new situation is, I'm thankful that the cancer has not come back and that I'm alive. I'm trying to remember to offer up the pain and discomfort for the salvation of souls, so I don't feel as if I'm suffering for no good reason.

Prayers appreciated!

Happy Birthday, Kelly!

2011-08-02T16:12:00.007-05:00

Happy Birthday, my sweet daughter!

I hope that you are enjoying your day, even though I threw a monkey wrench into our plans.

May God continue to bless you always, and may each year of your life bring you more and more joy.

I love you with all my heart.

Mom

To Do List FAIL

2011-07-29T22:01:00.005-05:00

I had 15 things on my "to do" list for today (Friday), and only got one of them accomplished. :o(

I'm still hobbling around, crippled by the coccyx pain and the fact that my butt and leg muscles aren't working right. I had planned to get a massage today, but that didn't work out.

Ron, Reece and I went to Walgreen's where I left the prescriptions Mom's doctor gave us on Friday so they could get them into their computer. That was the only thing on my list that got done. I looked for a coccyx cushion, but we had no luck finding one. The last pharmacy we stopped at said they would get some in Monday morning, so I'll get one then.

We went to Gran's and did the usual routine there, then Papa had promised Reece that we would get him some playdoh, so we did that. It was so hot that we decided to come home so that Papa and Reece could go swimming.

So I didn't get a massage, shop for Gran, find a coccyx cushion, shave my legs, do leg exercises, get some new sandals, get a pedicure, get vitamin d, yeast, flour, books or exercise capris. Cyrise put the towels and sheets in the washer for me, so that did get done, although I didn't do it. I forgot to take Teddy's flea medication to Gran's, so that didn't get done either.

Kelly got me a yoga DVD. It came in the mail today, but I haven't looked at it yet. She said she also ordered a yoga mat for me. She's so sweet. She is sure that gentle yoga stretches will help my back and other aches and pains. I hope she's right!

Ron massaged my low back and legs this evening, so I guess I did get a mini-massage. I spent most of the day in my room, where Reece joined me from time to time. We would watch videos or play with his playdoh. Cyrise brought my dinner up to me, and his as well, so we ate together.

I think I'll go shave my legs and try to do some leg exercises, so I can mark at least a couple more things off my list. :o)

PITB

2011-07-26T09:24:00.010-05:00

Lotus flower.

The pain in my back got worse, so I called my doctor on Saturday. He wanted me to have an MRI, so I went to BAMC on Sunday and they admitted me. I was there all day Sunday and into the afternoon on Monday.

The MRI was normal--they didn't see anything that could be causing the pain, and believe that it's musculoskeletal. They released me with more pain pills. Physical therapy will call me to make an appointment to show me exercises I can do at home.

So Dr. B's original diagnosis of coccydynia is probably right on. There are several things that have happened that could have caused it--a fall, lifting too much, and just generally doing too much. They warned me to take it easy for the first year after the cancer treatment and transplant, but I went right back to life as usual as soon as I felt better.

I'm having to use a walker to get around. I feel like a little old granny (which I am). :o) But it beats staggering around and falling. Prayers are much appreciated! Thank you.

Happy Birthday, Ahlyssa!

2011-07-21T16:34:00.002-05:00

Wishing you a very happy birthday, Lys!

We love you,

Gramma and Papa

Quick Post

2011-07-19T22:24:00.004-05:00

There hasn't been a lot to blog about lately. Mom continues to improve. She will see her surgeon on Friday for a follow-up. I don't expect any surprises. She will see her regular doctor on the 28th, and then we will get her scheduled to see a gastroenterologist.

I haven't been doing so well the past few weeks. My doctor diagnosed the problem as coccydynia. It's an inflammation of the tailbone (coccyx) and the ligaments that connect to it, and is very painful. If things don't improve soon, I'll have to go back and see what else can be done. So far it's just been pain meds and waiting for it to get better.

We got some rain here in drought-stricken south-central Texas this evening. We may get more tomorrow; we really need it. It cooled things off a bit, but now it's so humid.

Hope all is well in your corner of the world.

Update on Gran

2011-07-12T17:03:00.004-05:00

Larkspur, July's flower.

Great-Gran is recovering nicely from the surgery to remove the plaque from her carotid artery. Her throat and neck were swollen and sore, but are much better now. I think the sore throat was more from the tube they used for the anesthesia than from the surgery. She still has a little swelling around the incision, but it looks great and is healing well. She is sleeping well, and her appetite is good.

She's been coughing, which is also a result of the anesthesia. I'm encouraging her to cough deeply to get everything out, instead of the little "ladylike" coughs she does when people are around. She's using a spirometer, too, to strengthen her lungs.

She will see the surgeon for a follow-up July 22nd. Once she is completely recovered from the surgery, she will see a gastroenterologist about her low red blood cell count which they think is caused by a slow bleed from somewhere in her gut. Meanwhile, she is taking iron twice a day.

We are thankful that she is healing well, thankful for the doctors who are taking care of her, and thankful for your prayers!

Missing Lily

2011-07-11T22:46:00.004-05:00

Lily, our nine year old granddaughter, stayed with us for a week from June 25th, when she arrived with her family, until July 2, when she, Papa and Reece met her daddy halfway so that he could take her home.

We didn't get a chance to do as much together as I'd hoped. Papa took her the movies during the week, just the two of them, and she enjoyed that. They saw Cars 2. She usually goes to the movies with her 3 sibs and several cousins, so it might have seemed a bit strange to her to have only Papa with her. :o)

I took her shopping for clothes on Wednesday, and for toys on Thursday, and that was fun for both of us. I enjoyed her enthusiasm and happiness over choosing three outfits at Macy's. She looked so cute in all of them. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures. We went to Toys R Us and she looked at so many toys before making her decisions. She's a doll.

After Gran's mini-stroke I wasn't around much, but I did get to see her before she left to meet her daddy. She enjoyed spending time with Reece, Aubrey and Camryn, and is absolutely crazy about baby Gina. Cyrise said she really helped a lot with the girls.

She also enjoyed the pool nearly every day and is a good little swimmer. Reece and the girls asked "Where is Lily?" for days after she left. :o) They missed her so much, and so did I!

Aubrey

2011-07-11T11:46:00.004-05:00

Aubrey getting ready to go swimming.

She's such a smart, funny little girl. She's always saying something that makes me laugh.

One day I was sitting on the couch with one leg bent and my toes sticking out from under my other leg. Aubrey, who thinks about food constantly, pointed to my toes and said, "What's dat? Chicken nuggets?" :o)

She loves for me to read to her, sing to her, and recite nursery rhymes. That's what we do at nap time and bedtime. She is a joy!

Gina

2011-07-08T22:49:00.000-05:00

Taken with Photo Booth on my Mac.

A Difficult Week

2011-07-08T21:56:00.004-05:00

Last week on Friday, July 1st, Mom had a TMI (mini-stroke) as we were getting back to her house after lunch. I took her to a nearby emergency clinic, and they sent her in an ambulance to the hospital. They confirmed the TMI, and after lots of tests, scans, etc. they determined that she had a severe blockage in her left carotid artery.

Thursday morning (July 7) she had surgery to clear out the blockage in her artery. She did very well, and was able to come home this afternoon. We are relieved to have that part over with.

The second part is that they discovered that Mom was very anemic. She was given 3 units of blood over the two days that she was in the hospital, and we are to make an appointment with a gastroenterologist soon. They did find evidence of blood in her stool this morning, and suspect that she has a "slow leak" somewhere. Once the wound from the surgery has healed, she will begin tests to discover what is causing the bleeding.

My sister Sandi and her daughter came on Sunday, and have been wonderful. They got me back on an even keel when I seemed to lose my common sense, helping with everything from cleaning Mom's apartment from top to bottom over the holiday weekend, to getting in touch with her primary care doctor who was on vacation to schedule an assessment on Tuesday.

My niece had to get home to her family, and Sandi had to work on Wednesday. I took Mom to the hospital to get her registered and have her lab work done in preparation for the surgery. Sandi was back at midnight Wednesday night to go to the hospital with us at 6 AM Thursday. One or both of us was with Mom during her hospital stay. Sandi is still here, and is with Mom at home tonight.

That's the bare bones description of what has happened over the past week since I posted last. It's been a complicated and trying experience, but we are sure now that Mom won't have a stroke. Her artery was 80 to 90% blocked.

Please pray for our mom as we go through the process of discovering what else is wrong and what can be done about it. She's always been amazingly strong and healthy physically, and this is very difficult for her (and for all of us). Thank you for your prayers!

Zoo Pics

2011-06-29T14:38:00.002-05:00

Found the camera cord, and here are a few of the zoo pictures from last week.

Jacob, Reece and Ahlyssa, butterfly buddies.

Cammie

2011-06-29T14:14:00.004-05:00

Camryn has the wildest hair when she wakes up from her nap. :o) She's giving me the "mean look."

I was looking for something to put on her and found these little overalls in the closet. I think she looks adorable in them. She liked them, too. I used to dress my kids in overalls without shirts in the summer when they were little.

She's a delightful little girl. I love her tiny hands.

Summer's Bounty

2011-06-28T16:24:00.007-05:00

Veggies from my garden--tomatoes, onions, two kinds of peppers, cherry tomatoes and a handful of basil.

The peaches are what's left from our trip to Fredericksburg. I've been eating them like crazy; they are delicious. I want to make a cobbler if I can keep from eating them all. :o)

I used the small tomatoes that Josh brought home to make roasted tomatoes; they are outstanding! I cut them in half, seasoned them with salt and pepper and some of my home-grown basil, put them on a cookie sheet and drizzled them with plenty of olive oil. I roasted them for 2 hours at 300 degrees, and they came out perfect. I've been eating them on round crackers spread with cream cheese and topped with a roasted tomato. Yum!! Thanks, JoAnn, for the directions.

My onions are Texas Sweets, and they are supposed to be "giant." I think they are small because they were grown in a small container (wooden window boxes). They are very sweet and good, even if they are small. We've already used them in cooking a few times.

It's so nice to have fresh fruits and veggies!

Catching Up

2011-06-25T13:42:00.006-05:00

It's been a fun and busy week, with Ahlyssa and Jacob here. Of course they've been in the pool every day.

On Thursday we went to the zoo with Kelly. We went early, but it was still pretty hot. We didn't see everything, but we saw the animals the kids wanted to see and were done by noon. Then we rode the train around the park--about a 15 minute ride. Reece liked that more than the zoo. I took a few pictures, but I can't find the cord I use to download them from my camera to my computer. If I find it, maybe I'll post pictures later.

On Friday, Kelly, Lys and I had a girl's day out. We went to Fredericksburg and looked around a little bit, then bought peaches and tomatoes on the way home. I took a few pictures with my cell phone. We shopped in the old-fashioned five and dime (Dooley's). That's Lyssa in the purple hat, and Dooley's is where that red sign is hanging in the other picture.

That evening, Josh brought a sack of small homegrown tomatoes that one of his customers had given him, so I have lots of tomatoes to use up quickly. I think I'll try JoAnn's version of oven roasted tomatoes stored in olive oil. Sounds yummy to me!

Jason and the rest of his family arrived this morning. They will be here for the weekend, then take Ahlyssa and Jacob back home with them, and leave Lily here with us. We were hoping Caelen, our 15 year old grandson, would stay too, but he said he had things to do at home. :o( It will be lots of fun having Lily with us, though. :o)

Have a great weekend!

Great-Gran Goes Swimming

2011-06-20T15:26:00.008-05:00

Father's Day was so much fun!

We took Reece and Jacob to Mass with us. On the way to Mass, I told Jake to do whatever we did--stand when we stand, sit when we sit, kneel when we kneel. He said okay. Then I asked him if he knew how to make the sign of the cross. He said yes, and immediately crossed his arms out in front of his chest, forming an X. I laughed so hard. It was so cute!

He was very, very good at Mass, doing exactly what I had told him to do. Reece decided to be a little pill, so I had to take him out for a few minutes. We came back just before Communion. They went up to the rail with me and knelt, and I had told them to fold their arms. But I neglected to tell Jacob not to receive, so he opened his mouth like everyone else was doing. The priest was about to give him the Body of Christ when I realized what was happening and shook my head. He looked at Jacob and smiled.

I guess he doesn't bless the children during the Eucharist, because he didn't bless Reece last week, or either of the boys yesterday. He did say during his homily that he would be available after Mass "under the tree" to talk with us, give special blessings, etc. It was Father Moses again; once again I liked his homily. We didn't get a chance to speak with him, but I hope next week that we can, just to welcome him and tell him how much we appreciate that he is willing to celebrate the TLM for us.

We went by Mom's to pick up Teddy and let her change clothes and get her swimming suit. Then we came home and celebrated Father's day by swimming and grilling T-bone steaks. Kelly and Mike were here, too, and we all had so much fun.

On the way home yesterday evening, Mom said that she had a really good time and that she was glad she went swimming with the kids. They immediately surrounded her when she got in, and were so happy to show off for her. :o) I could tell that she was really enjoying herself. She was tired, though, and was still in bed when Ahlyssa, Jacob, Reece and I went over there today. We had to knock and knock on her door before she finally woke up to let us in.

Today is Josh's day off, and he and Cyrise went to the river again. The baby and the little girls are napping, and Lys is in the pool with Reece and Jacob. They are having a ball out there! I will join them when the girls wake up, and I imagine Papa will get in, too, when he gets home from work.